Not Making the Cut

Getting writing advice is a tricky thing. I hired a freelance editor to go over my fairy version of The War of the Worlds, tentatively called Fairy War. She gave a lot of interesting advice. Of course, it’s up to me to decide what to accept or decline.

Fairy War mainly takes place in the London area, but I had some side chapters take place in Seattle. The freelance editor thought my story was too long, so she advised me to cut the Seattle chapters.

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I did so, keeping the Seattle chapters in a separate file. After that, I made other cuts that shortened the story by about 10,000 words. But then one of my beta readers said it dragged in the middle. That was where my Seattle chapters had been the most dramatic. Also, a former agent who gives online advice I really trust says agents and editors expect fantasy to be a little longer than I had thought. (The addition of fairies makes my story more on the fantasy side.) Although beginning writers should not push the limits, I’ve decided to add the Seattle chapters back in.

However, when going over these chapters I realized there were too many minor characters. I’ll have to eliminate one of them. So it turns out a pixie named Mona will not make the cut. Here’s the scene where she’s introduced.

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Wycliffe was about to inquire what more he could do to help when a barmaid came over, smelling of rose water, holding a tankard they hadn’t ordered.

She set it down gently. “I apologize for interrupting.”

They stared at her in curiosity. Then Portia reached out and glided her hand down the barmaid’s arm. “Fellow pixie.”

“I heard what you’re planning. They’ll probably attack tomorrow, right? I want to help.”

Tingo looked at her skeptically. “I don’t know what fighting skill you have. And it’s not clear what us women will do. Perhaps you should stay here.”

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Now we’ll never know what Mona would have done. So sad.