Synopsis

There’s a lot of advice online and in books and at seminars on how to write a synopsis of your manuscript, much of it contradictory. They all agree that the synopsis must be interesting enough to grab the agent or editor, but disagree on how it’s done. How do you summarize your novel in two to three pages?

Could you summarize part of The Lord of the Rings? It’s been done.

Look at the start of The Two Towers, and you’ll find a synopsis of The Fellowship of the Ring. The start of The Return of the King repeats that and adds a synopsis for the The Two Towers. These are fine examples, so rather than coming up with a method, I’ll just say study those.

They have to be converted to present tense to pitch something new rather than summarize something already published. Also the beginnings have to be changed, so the synopsis of The Fellowship of the Ring would start with “Gandalf,” and the first paragraph of the synopsis of The Two Towers would be rewritten with active verbs, but these are the best examples I know.

With that in mind, I modified the synopsis for my vampire satire. Here is the original first sentence:

Dee is a homeschooling mother of two in a Seattle suburb who would rather teach her kids math or prepare them for a field trip to a salmon run than strangle the occasional vampire who invades their home.

And here’s the revised version:

As a homeschooling mother in a Seattle suburb, Dee would prefer to teach her kids math or prep them for a field trip to a salmon run, but right now she has to strangle another zombie-like vampire that has invaded their home.

I think that’s an improvement. Learn from the best. 

Homeschooling Slayer Pitch

Here’s how the pitch for my novel Homeschooling Slayer went at Surrey.  It took a minute and fifteen seconds.  Sorry for the blanks [____], but I don’t want to reveal the whole story here.  I guess this is where I say you’ll have to buy a copy when it gets published someday. 

ME:  Hello. 

AGENT:  (looking at my name tag) Hello, you’re Mark?

ME:  Yes.  (sitting down)  Well, should I describe my story? 

AGENT:  (nods) 

ME:  My novel is a humorous urban fantasy for adults, called Homeschooling Slayer. 

The main character is Dee, who has the ability to put vampires into a trance, whenever they wander into her home for reasons she doesn’t understand. 

The story starts with her having a great deal of angst over killing these vampires. 

So far, they’ve been very zombie-like, not speaking or showing any signs of intelligence, so she could tell herself she was not killing human beings. 

Now they’re starting to speak and show signs of planning. 

She feels guilt over killing them. 

We wonder if she will falter in the upcoming conflicts. 

I put her through a few try/fail cycles: 

She is captured by [_____], who can [_____], but she escapes. 

She encounters a dark figure, who tells her [_____].  He warns her off from [_____]. 

In the end, she and her allies battle the [_____]. 

She says, [_____]. 

And so she [_____]. 

(pause)  So that’s the gist of the story. 

Every time that I’ve pitched, the editor or agent will stare at me without changing expression.  Do not pause for them to react, do not ask if you’re doing okay.  Just speak at a moderate pace in a clear voice, and include the same facial expressions, tones of voice or body language as if you were getting along famously.  Remember, they want to know if you’re the kind of person they can work with.  As  Homer Simpson once yelled at his family:  “Be normal!”   

Vampire Parody Corrections

I made some notes on things to correct as I reread my vampire parody.  Here’s a glimpse.  Most involve just adding a sentence here or modifying a paragraph there.  I’ve hidden the last one, to prevent it becoming a spoiler.  

Finished

Today I finished my vampire parody.  I had projected it to be 400 pages.  It turned out to be 395. 

When this sort of full-paged, double-spaced manuscript is turned into a typical paperback novel, it has about 25% less pages.  So a manuscript like this may have about 300 pages as a paperback. 

Much of the tone is light-hearted as I poke fun at some of tropes you see in typical urban fantasies.  At one point, Dee (the main character) and her sister make fun of all the bare midriffs you can see on the covers in that sub-genre, saying “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll dress that way when I go get in a knife fight with some creature with fangs and claws.” 

Another difference is that Dee is married and has children.  I don’t know of any other heroine who starts out that way in these sorts of stories.  This is my way of challenging the unwritten conventions that have developed already, though this newer, darker kind of urban fantasy has only dominated for a comparatively short amount of years.  Dee does not lead an unattached, single life.  She does not have any unusual strength or speed.  But she gets a full head of steam on when she sees something threatening the kids.  Wouldn’t you? 

Of course, there are scenes of suspense and action.  I posted one of them on this entry.  You might notice there’s still time for a funny exchange in the face of danger. 

None of this is meant to denigrate the sub-genre.  Suburban fantasy authors are some of the most cutting-edge writers out there.  But when you think about it, aren’t some parts of it kind of funny?