Tuesday, February 7, 2017

If Chins Could Kill—Book Review

Bruce Campbell’s If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor is a surprisingly detailed account of all aspects of his life that relate to movie-making. This started in childhood, where he went beyond making G.I. Joes look wounded by burning them to charging fees for a makeshift golf course to purloining construction material to build a tree fortress.

Perhaps the most fascinating part describes how in high school Campbell acted with friends in a number of super-8 movies, made for a hundred dollars each that would actually play in theaters. By the time he was college age, he had more practical experience than a lot of drama majors.

Like so many who have unorthodox careers, he pretty much skipped college. But what steered him to horror movies? He had mostly done comedy, but he and his friends noticed that a scary scene in a horror movie always made an audience react. Campbell eventually made the lower than low budget Evil Dead movies, and the rest is history.

It’s hard to convey how uproariously funny If Chins Could Kill is. No matter how serious the event or how rocky the road to movie-making was, Campbell will describe it all with wry humor and exaggeration, as if his entire life has been one grand wink at his audience.

Almost every page has a photo or a diagram on it, which I’ve never seen in an autobiography before. This includes a diagram of how holes were cut into a floor so actors could stick their arms and legs through, to be filmed as disembodied limbs. (Remember: lower than low.)

He even goes into fundraising, which most books of this sort don’t describe. It was a matter of approaching businessmen, relatives, friends, and friends of friends, and trying to talk them into forking over money for a share in whatever profits the movie will make. I think most books don’t cover this because the process is so humiliating.

To stipulate: Chins does not cover the current Evil Dead series on Starz. But even if you’re not an Evil Dead fan (and I’m not), you’ll find this book hilarious. 

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