Monday, December 26, 2011

Worst Movies of 2011

Happy St. Stephen’s Day

This is a positive blog.  If you’re an aspiring writer who wants an agent or editor to notice you, don’t flame people online.  But so long as I do it in an amusing way,  I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about the two worst movies I saw in 2011.

Melancholia

1. Kirsten Dunst plays a depressed person.

2. She appears topless a couple times for no particular reason. 

3. She feels better when she finds out the world is about to end.


Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Basically, there are three elements to the movie:

1. One part total crass ignorance about space.  (For instance, Pink Floyd might have referred to the dark side of the moon as a figure of speech, but the people who made the movie acted like it was a physical reality.)

2. One part Victoria’s Secrets ad.  The model (she’s not really an actress) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley said in an interview that she asked the director Michael Bay that wasn’t it odd she appears in high heels throughout the movie.  She says he replied that naw, it was okay.  

3. And to be fair, one part cool special effects.


That’s it for those two.  Hopefully my next post will be on the best movies of 2011.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A balanced, well-executed flaying of two movies we will now not waste the time seeing. Thanks for the extra time!

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