TV Review: The Ark

A sleeper ship containing dozens of people in suspended animation has a violent impact just one year short of the planet they were sent to colonize. The entire command staff was wiped out in the impact. But that is just the beginning of their problems. They only have four weeks’ worth of water. They have six weeks’ worth of food.

Lieutenant Sharon Garnet (Christie Burke) takes command. Everyone on board is an expert in something: science, engineering, etc. She assigns some of the crew to retrofit the water recycling unit meant for the colony. This is no easy task: The right equipment has to be scavenged. An attempt is made to grow food in a cargo bay. But the power requirements for the lights can impinge on the search for equipment. Always, somebody disagrees with her decisions.

There are so many problems with the premier episode of The Ark. I don’t consider anything that follows to be a spoiler. When the crew wakes up from suspended animation, they are instantly alert and able to sprint to a safer part of the ship. Seriously? They later show the compression suits they were in was what allowed them to run, but inflated pants don’t work that way.

They use the centrifugal effect (actually centripetal force) to simulate gravity. One part of the ship stopped rotating. When it starts again, people in mid-air immediately fall to the floor. Physics doesn’t work that way, man! There is no reason why people in mid-air would suddenly fall like that. They would bounce off the walls and possibly the ceiling first before settling onto the floor. (The movie Passengers had the same problem, but I digress.)

While we’re at it, the ship has two rotating sections. They rotate the same way. That would make for an intense Coriolis effect, so the whole ship would rotate against its axis. It would be better if the sections rotated in opposite directions, or had one large section rotating one way, and two smaller sections rotating a different way. (Look at Ragnar Station in the premier of Battlestar Galactica. They almost got it right.)

For the more personal matters, some jerk sarcastically addresses a woman he thinks is Russian as “comrade.” What? That was a term used in the days of the Soviet Union. Why would someone a hundred years from now use it?

There is a blonde ditz who does “Valley Girl” talk. One scene implies she is showing off her naked body. Save that for soap operas. 

Two young geeky people wear geeky glasses. Why? To let us know they are geeks. I didn’t see anyone else wearing glasses.

There are three lieutenants. The other two dispute whether Lt. Garnet should be in charge, since they are all equal. Obviously they have equal rank, but they wouldn’t have equal seniority. If one of them was promoted even a day before the others, that one would be the senior officer. Lieutenants would be well aware of who is senior to whom.

Believe it or not, this is not a negative blog. Despite all the problems, I plan to continue to watch The Ark. The challenge of how they will survive is intriguing. I like Lieutenant Garnet. Also, I like Lieutenant James Brice’s (Richard Fleeshman's) Scottish accent. 

Powerless—Funniest Sitcom

Emily Locke arrives as a new director at Wayne Security in Charmed City, full of excitement and idealism about her new job. But she almost gets killed before she can arrive at work. Why? Charmed City is ground zero for fights between minor superheroes and supervillains. Emily’s train is derailed by a supervillain, and the superhero Crimson Fox saves her and the rest of the train. Emily looks like she’s going to explode with delight.

Wayne Security was founded by the distant Bruce Wayne. They try to create products to help citizens protect themselves from supervillains (and the fallout from superhero battles). Emily is raring to go with her team of experts. Unfortunately, the Charmed City division is headed by a lesser cousin, Vanderveer “Van” Wayne. He is shallow, obnoxious, stupid—everything that would make a normal person quit. But not Emily. She constantly locks horns with Van, who often doesn’t even get what the argument is about. But she usually wins—kind of.

What makes things worse for Emily are the three leading specialists she has to work with. They are technical geniuses, but normally don’t pay attention to what she says. Teddy is arguably the greatest genius, but is high strung. He is depressed for almost an entire episode. Ron is easy-going—too easy-going when a project needs to be done. Wendy is flat-out hostile to Emily, always insulting her with a smile on her face.

Jackie is Van’s deadpan personal assistant. She started out young and idealistic like Emily, so she constantly tries to discourage her. Although, she is sometimes Emily’s ally. Jackie often gets in a good one to undermine Van, without his being able to figure it out.

Everyone does a fantastic job in the show. The writing is excellent, sometimes with good workplace humor, often with zany lines that come out of nowhere. Usually the best scenes are between Emily—played by Vanessa Hudgens, known from her role in the High School Musical franchise—and Van—played by Alan Tudyk, known from his roles in Firefly and Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Vanessa Hudgens is incredible. She goes through multiple extreme facial expressions every minute.

I say that Powerless is the funniest sitcom ever. Currently on The CW.

photo by swirley18

Kirstie Alley Passed Away

Kirstie Alley passed away at the age of 71. She was best known for her long-running role in Cheers. But her breakout role was in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

 

photo by Alan Light

She played Lieutenant Saavik, a Vulcan. Kirstie Alley said she had practiced arching one eyebrow for years, which she was convinced help her land the part.

Saavik was unusual in that she showed a good amount of emotion for a Vulcan, even shedding a tear at a funeral. This was later explained in the books that she was only half Vulcan. Since this was never mentioned in the films, that information is not considered canonical.

(Yes, the terms canonical and non-canonical come from how Bible scholars refer to the books of the Bible as canon—coming from a Hebrew word for a measuring rod—and other ancient religious texts as not canon. In Star Trek, the TV shows and movies are canon, while the books are not. Are we clear?)

So Kirstie Alley will be remembered for a number of roles she played, but many fans will chiefly remember her for the unique spin she brought to a Star Trek character.

 

Book Purge

That’s right. If you have books that you’re never going to read, or that you know you won’t read again, just stick your finger way back in your throat and ...

This was my latest book purge. Two stacks of books, and one TV series. I’ll let you guess which one was the series.

Although, in an alternate universe, we could have had a La Vida series. 

So I sold these to a used book store for a pittance.

 

Rosaline—Best Romantic Comedy

Romeo compares Rosaline to the sun, moon, and stars. He declares his love for her. Startled at the L word, Rosaline doesn’t know how to reply. Then Romeo meets some chick named Juliet at a party, and now he’s courting her.

Rosaline spends all her time trying to sabotage Juliet—no, trust me, you don’t want that guy Romeo. All the while she is sending letters to Romeo and hoping for the best.

I don’t normally say this, but don’t watch the trailer. It goes through too much of the plot. If you do, just watch the first half minute.

Rosaline goes on my list of best movies. (You’re right, you’ve never seen that list.) Many don’t remember that in Romeo and Juliet, Romeo was first in love with some young woman named Rosaline who is never seen on stage. Then he forgets about her. This serves as the kernel for the story, but it goes far beyond that. Rosaline has her own love story, which is uproarious. She is courted by a young man named Dario, who is the only possible suitor she might consider. She spurns him, but he ends up protecting her when she trespasses into Montague territory. How will these two end up?

So yes, Rosaline is the best romantic comedy in my opinion. The scene where she crosses a stream while wearing her wide dress is worth rewatching. It has a little strategic foul language. Currently on Hulu.

I Voted.

 

Sasha Peyton Smith and Rachel Griffin at the Mall

The new Barnes & Noble at Crossroads Mall in Bellevue (a suburb of Seattle) advertised that they would have Sasha Peyton Smith speaking about her second book, The Witch Hunt. I have to admit that I wasn’t familiar with the book. But it’s been a long time since I had heard an author speak in person about a book, so I went. I’m glad I did.

Sasha Peyton Smith is on the right

Rachel Griffin on the left

Some authors do readings of their work, and then answer questions as if the characters are real. In this case, Sasha Peyton Smith was interviewed by Rachel Griffin, a fellow author. The interview was entirely about the writing process. Sasha Peyton Smith discussed the research she did for the two time periods and the two locations for her books—New York and Paris. An interesting insight was she did not start writing her first book with the goal of publishing it. She was just writing to please herself.

When she decided to try having it published, she said she assembled a Frankenstein’s monster from parts of twelve different drafts. She then submitted it with a badly written query letter. Despite all that, her first book was accepted, and now she has her second book out.

While Sasha Peyton Smith was signing books, I asked Rachel Griffin, author of the recent Wild is the Witch, about agents. She said she submitted her first book to seventy different agents before she was accepted. That process took about a year. She could tell I was an aspiring author from my questions, so she wished me well.

Movie Review: See How They Run

In a London theater in 1953, director Leo Köpernick (Adrien Brody) manages to start a fistfight after a showing of Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap. Not long after, Köpernick turns up dead on a sofa used in the play. The weary Inspector Stoppard (Sam Rockwell) is assigned the case and is saddled with the very energetic Constable Stalker (Saoirse Ronan). Through a series of hilarious interviews they find that multiple people at the theatre, including the famous Richard Attenborough, thoroughly hated Köpernick and could be suspects.

Constable Stalker wants to follow up every lead and often jumps to conclusions as to who is guilty. Inspector Stoppard is more torpid, to the point that he would rather have a few drinks while on duty. As the twists and turns mount up, will this turn out to be like an Agatha Christie thriller?

See How They Run deconstructs the murder mystery, just as Scream deconstructed the slasher movie. Both movies dissect the common tropes of each genre, then put them back together in new and innovative ways. See How They Run should improve murder mystery movies by not allowing them to be lazy in the writing and plot.

Saoirse Ronan is quite the gem. She is allowed to do her pert Irish accent throughout. The scene where Inspector Stoppard secretly goes off for a drink while she remains on duty with a fixed stare is hilarious. And when she yells, “Stop! In the name of the law!” It’s quite a treat.

Although Sam Rockwell does a fine job, I thought Saoirse Ronan should have gotten top billing, since she had far more lines than he did. And Adrien Brody does his usual job of getting under one’s skin with his intense but laid back style.

Throughout, scenes from The Mousetrap are shown. It makes me curious to read the book.

Book Review: Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Lynesse Fourth Daughter of the queen knows her land is in peril. Some unnamed horror is sending people fleeing from neighboring forest kingdoms. Perhaps it is a demon. The strongest men cannot face it with a blade. So Lyn climbs the mountain to the Tower of Nyrgoth Elder, last of the sorcerers. She will call upon him to fulfill the great compact to come to her royal family’s aid. Because blood is required, she puts her finger in an opening to the door, and feels the sting of a bite.

Nyr wakes up. He is the last of a team of anthropologists sent here to study this colonized world that has devolved from a spacefaring civilization. He spends most of his time in suspended animation. The system woke him because a visitor is a match for a family he made a compact with. Nyr is horribly depressed from being left alone on this world.

But Nyr is happy to recognize his visitor—the woman he spent time with, even having adventures with her on horseback. He addresses her by name and title. Lyn replies that that was her great grandmother. The woman Nyr remembers is dead.

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Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky is shorter than a standard novel, so it is actually a novella. But do not make the mistake of thinking it has less value because of that. This is a charming story that alternates between two points of view—a fantasy of a princess on a quest, and a science fiction story of an anthropologist who has to deal with the ignorance and superstitions of a backslidden people.

Lyn is convinced, as they approach the forest kingdoms, that the sorcerer will defeat the horrible evil. Nyr goes along because of the great compact, but is certain this is none of his concern. They are both in for an increasingly terrifying adventure.

Parts of the story are quite funny. Nyr tells Lyn that he is not a magician, he is a scientist. This translates into her language as he is not a magician, he is a sorcerer. The story drags in a few places when it goes into detail about Nyr’s depression, but Elder Race is a worthwhile read.