Amazon Lockers vs. The Porch Pirates

Just to be upfront, I prefer ordering books from Barnes & Noble. But I have to admit, the Amazon lockers can be a lifesaver. Here in the Seattle area, we have a bad case of the porch pirates: Scummy people who steal delivery boxes right off a person’s front porch. They’re just looking for electronics or other valuables. If it turns out to be a book or DVD, these creeps probably just toss it. With Amazon lockers nearby I can go there, put in a code I was sent, and access my package.

Before that, three deliveries were stolen from my doorstep. One was a DVD that isn’t being made anymore. Water, starring Michael Caine, was one of the funniest movies ever made.

Sure, I can buy the horribly expensive copies left on Amazon, or some cheaper version that will only play on a German DVD player.

A book I lost that really irks me is And the Beagles and the Bunnies Shall Lie Down Together. This was a collection of all the Peanuts comic strips that quoted the Bible.

Wait. I saw just now I can get it again on Amazon for not too big of a price. See ya.

Return of the 50-Foot Woman

Okay, that title was to catch the eye. But I like how the giant movie posters have returned to the Alderwood Mall 16 move theater. For months, the giant frames for posters have been empty. Now the posters have returned for the holiday season. The walkway with a railing below the posters lets you know how big they are.

click to enlarge

I think one movie is meant for men, and the other for women. But which is which?

Zombie Flash Mob

Redmond, Washington is the home of Microsoft, berry picking, and zombies. I’ll let you guess which is the scariest.

For zombies, the Redmond Town Center had the annual Thrill the World Event today. Just like last year (see my post), I got there early. I suddenly realized this fellow was in the back seat of the car next to mine. I’m not kidding.

People were just dying to get in there.

So here’s the official banner.

Quite a crowd showed up.

click to enlarge any of these pictures

Notice the non-zombie people on the upper level watching. Redmond Town Center is a nice outdoor mall with a large Marriot inside. I noticed a couple people walking by dressed very professionally, and other people just come to visit the stores. I heard one man ask, “Why are there so many zombies?

Here’s a zombie nurse.

And here’s another one. I could say the shadow on her face is symbolic . . .

. . . but really, she was trying to get the sun out of her eyes. 

The chiropractor was in. 

Seriously. Chiropractor. 

Here are some of the winners for best zombie makeup.

And here’s a zombie family.

The kids were moving around, so the mother’s face was blocked.

Maleficent was also there.

I think the zombies would have been afraid of her.

Edward Scissorhands and Kim paid a visit.

Isn't it weird when Wonder Woman photobombs your picture? 

How was your day? 

For my review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, click here. 
  

[Permission granted to use any photo on this post, so long as it is labeled “Photo by Mark Murata”]

Book Review: Sea of Glory

Sea of Glory: America’s Voyage of Discovery: The U.S. Exploring Expedition was penned by Nathaniel Philbrick, well-known for In the Heart of the Sea and Bunker Hill. This recounts the epic voyage of the U.S. Exploring Expedition, otherwise known as the Ex Ex. From 1838 to 1842, they explored Antarctica, then the Pacific—including Fiji and the Hawaiian Islands—and then Puget Sound and the Columbia River, going on land to explore what are now the states of Washington and Oregon.

The Ex Ex was potentially as significant as the Lewis and Clark expedition on land. But hardly anyone knows about it. And thereby hangs a tale.

I was astonished there was such an expedition, sailing from Virginia down to Antarctica—in wooden sailing ships! Then they went on to encounter Pacific Islanders, some friendly, some violent. Considering where I live, I had great interest in their exploration of the Columbia River. I had no idea the mouth of the Columbia is considered the third most dangerous river mouth to traverse in the world.

But why don’t more people know about this expedition? Lieutenant Charles Wilkes, who was in charge of the Ex Ex, was far too inexperienced a man to be in charge of such an epic voyage. By the end of the expedition, all his officers had turned against him. Wilkes was put on trial for his outrageous behavior. If any of his officers were more competent than he was, he would humiliate that officer in front of the men, give him reduced responsibilities, or put him off at a friendly port. By all accounts, he was an incompetent and a coward. Much of the expedition’s discoveries went unpublished.

If anyone thinks his side of the story should be told, by all means read Sea of Glory. But it seems to be the old story of the Navy taking a smart young man and unaccountably thrusting him into a position where he was in way over his head. For years. To Antarctica and back.

I have to say I found Sea of Glory depressing. A much more uplifting book is Erebus: One Ship, Two Epic Voyages, and the Greatest Naval Mystery of All Time by Michael Palin, which I reviewed here. This British expedition had competent commanders. There’s some sort of lesson here, don’t you think?

Better Call Saul—with DeepFake

I previously blogged about DeepFake videos. At that time, they could not also fake people’s voices. (There is fake voice and lip-movement technology, but that is separate and incompatible at this time.) Now the fake videos are to some extent able to fake voices. If you watch the clip below, sometimes the words don’t match the lips, but the voice sounds real.

It features Trump’s face mapped onto Bob Odenkirk’s face. Since it has the Trump voice saying a nasty word, I'll just leave the link here if you care to explore it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho9h0ouemWQ&t=45s

The major concern as these fakes get better, is that we might see on the internet a video of President Trump or Kim Jong-un announcing they’ve launched nuclear missiles.

On a more mundane but personal note, are you eager for video banking? When someone can fake your face and voice, then tell the bank to transfer your savings to some account in the Bahamas?

And I would be remiss if I didn’t put in an excerpt from my novel Alpha Shift. Captain Christina Chechi is about to find out how badly her ship’s communications have been hacked.

A wall monitor gave a nonsensical message from Captain Akajima that didn’t mention her, Captain Chechi.

Arms at her sides, Christina made both hands into fists, hard, as if she were a teenager willing herself to grow taller. She raised one of them and tried calling the bridge.

A smiling picture of herself showed, wearing the wrong red dress. The image was an abomination of perfect hair, makeup, and costume, and it gave a winning smile as it said that all conditions were normal.

Christina hit the wall monitor.

She put her hands over her eyes and told herself to simmer down. Then she considered anew the general quarters alarms. This is not just about me. Even though she was captain, she was just one person, but communications in general had been sabotaged. They’re trying to take the ship. My ship.

Contest Coming Up Fairy Soon

A contest is coming up for aspiring writers. We are to write a short synopsis of a finished novel, then add the first two sentences. The winner will get a free critique from a professional editor of the first ten pages of the story. So here’s the synopsis, then the first two sentences will be below the picture. Let me know what you think.

Ashley, a fairy, grows to human size and helps out in the war of the worlds when Martian cylinders land. Steam-powered war machines emerge, wielding heat-rays in their metallic tentacles. Although Ashley comports herself as a lady, she gathers her courage and flies near the head of one of the machines to help guide the artillery. But the resulting explosion separates her from her friends, leading to a lonely odyssey in war-torn England.  

On midsummer’s eve I stood on the central toadstool, gripping the bumpy surface with my toes. The moist air from the humus below clung to my bare skin, the warm mugginess attacking the elaborate curls I had styled for the occasion.

Copyright

It may surprise readers (and wannabe writers) that legally, writers do not sell stories. That’s how it’s described in everyday terms, such as selling a story to a magazine or selling a novel to a publisher. But in legal terms, what writers sell is copyright.

This can become extremely complicated. See my post on speakers at Norwescon on how publishers try to get the rights to audiobooks. They will also try to get the rights to movie versions, graphic book versions, action figures, t-shirts, etc. This all has to be negotiated. But it underlines the fact that what the writer sells is copyright to the story. In some contracts, the rights revert to the writer if sales of the novel fall below a certain point. And there are nightmare stories of a publisher going bankrupt, and writers have no clear path to recovering their copyright.

On the lighter side, the old Star Trek did some black and white publicity photos. They never copyrighted them. They are public domain.

Don’t know who this is? Watch an old show.

300—Bad Dubbing

I don’t have much time for a post this week, so here is some really bad dubbing for the movie 300. 

On second viewing, they did match the lip movements better than I thought at first. I'll have to find some really bad example when I have time. 

Name That Planet—Vili was Robbed

Okay, OR10 is not a planet, it’s a small body in the solar system. But it’s big enough to have it’s own moon. So The Planetary Society allowed people to vote on its name! Never heard of this? Get better news sources.

So the candidates were: Vili, Gonggong, and Holle. Vili was a brother of Odin and Ve, and the three of them defeated the giant Ymir and created Middle Earth in Norse mythology. Gonggong was a Chinese deity who caused floods. Holle was a Germanic fertility spirit.

art by Sokol_92

To quote The Planetary Society site, “Vili took the lead for a long while, but in the final stretch Gonggong surged, taking the lead.”

Oh, come on! Putting Vili and Holle in there split the Nordic/Germanic vote. I demand a recount!

VOTE MIDDLE EARTH! VOTE VILI!