PNWA Conference 2015

I attended the annual Pacific Northwest Writers Conference, just as I did last year. This is a great opportunity to pitch one’s manuscript to agents and editors.

But first, I had to get in. When I pulled up to the parking garage, one car was right ahead of me, and one was at the gate that should go up. Nothing was happening. Finally, a woman in the car ahead of me got out and talked to the driver at the gate. Then she came back, made eye contact with me, said “You need to go back,” and got in her car.

Great. Great communication skills. I hope she’s not a writer.

Those of you who follow this blog might remember my unpleasant experience at this same garage at night back during Norwescon.

As usual, the main events were the pitch sessions. Those of us who signed up would be allowed to pitch our manuscripts to agents and editors, four minutes at a time. It’s best to summarize your novel in just one minute, then let the professional ask you questions for the rest of the time.

Instead of trying to summarize the whole plot, try to point out what’s unique about your character, then describe how that character encounters the first major conflict in the story.

People gather twenty to thirty minutes before a pitch session. This is a time when many desperately go over their pitches. When the doors open, it’s not quite as bad as the start of a rock concert. It’s more like when a Costco opens.

Inside, people fan out and find the editor or agent they want to pitch to first. The first people in line get to stand with their toes on a white line, just like in school. When a bell rings, they can go forward and pitch to that agent or editor. When the bell rings again, they have to leave and let the next person come up. The first person is free to get in line for another agent or editor.

I was first in line for the editor I wanted to pitch to. All I can say is it didn’t go well, and that person was not interested in my vampire parody. But I got in line for another editor. She was somewhat skeptical about my science fiction novel Day 10K, but she said to send her the first ten pages. Then there was time to get in line for an agent. She liked my idea for The War of the Worlds and Fairies, so she said to send her the first chapter.

So, mixed results. But you can’t get these results without trying. These editors and agents who go to these conferences want new clients. And they want to meet with you in person, to see that you’re not some guy living in his mother’s garage. If you’re a wannabe writer, don’t you want to do this same thing? 

Movie Review: Terminator Genisys

Before a few weeks ago, I had never seen a Terminator movie. They obviously featured brutal, gratuitous violence, and the word was the scripts were not exactly intelligent. 

I did see a scene where Kyle Reese revealed a photo of Sarah Connor and confessed he had traveled through time for her. That was a nice moment, and the actor Michael Biehn uttered the lines in just the right way. 

 Outdoor poster

Notice the railing and field lights for scale

Fast forward to nowadays. As I described in a previous post, the audience in a theater I was in laughed out loud when Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared. But when I watched the trailer again on TV, the concept of a reimagined Sarah Connor grew on me. 

So I did see it, and to my surprise I was delighted with it. The time travel aspects were interesting. No spoilers here, other than the trailer below. I'll just describe the actors. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Unlike other actors, Arnold doesn't pretend he's not aging. More than once, he grunts out that he's "old," and the science fictional excuse is the flesh encasing his body ages. He still gives an intimidating performance after originating the concept over thirty years ago. And through the magic of CGI, he gets to play two roles. 

Jai Courtney: He seemed an odd choice to play Kyle Reese in the trailer, but his versatility grew on me, so I didn't have to suspend disbelief to to see him as the soldier who travels through time to save the woman he's grown to care for by reputation. They don't meet cute, though. 

Emilia Clarke: She's rather compelling as the hard-then-soft Sarah Connor. Unfortunately, she doesn't look strong enough to pull off the more amazing action scenes. And if you ever saw the Sarah Connor Chronicles, this is a completely different version of her. 

The frustrating tic in this movie is the I-won't-take-five-seconds-to-explain-my-motive thing, which leads to fights and conflicts among them. But overall it was a satisfying story, and the violence is only PG-13. 

Warby Parker Glasses

Warby Parker is a class act. You can go to their website, pick out five glasses frames you think you might like, and they will send you a sample of those for you to try on free of charge.

They include a label so you can send them back at their expense.

Warby Parker is very tempting. Alas, I have a big head, so even their largest sizes will not fit me. I will have to go to an eyeglass shop as usual and have them bend the frames around to fit my head.

New $10 Bill

The news is there will be a woman on the new $10 bill. So Alexander Hamilton will be thrown off the current version. When you look at it, his portrait actually came out nice.

The first woman to appear on our currency was Martha Washington. She was on a $1 bill.

Lady Liberty has appeared on more than one piece of coinage. Here is the Mercury dime—a misnomer, since Lady Liberty was mistaken for the Roman god Mercury, and so the dime is known by a popular but mistaken name.

I actually don’t think it would have to be a woman on the $10 bill. Before you throw brickbats at me, it would have been a worthy goal to have a different shade of man on there—perhaps Frederick Douglass, or put Chief Joseph on the $20 bill. Don’t know who they are? Read a book.

So, who should be on the new $10 bill? Since ships are referred to as “she,” perhaps the Mayflower.

by William Halsall

public domain

Or there’s Captain Kirk’s favorite woman.

photo by Julo

Sprinkler

This is what it looks like when a sprinkler head comes off.

Funny, what one can spot while going somewhere. It’s funny mainly because it’s not happening to us.

The Hobbit: Why is the Movie so Different?

Those of you who read The Hobbit and loved it probably became impatient at the immense amount of scenes in the movies that weren’t in the book. And those of you who didn’t read the book probably wonder if the incredible blow-by-blow battle scenes were really described in such detail. Now someone gets to the root of the differences.

Kayleigh Herbertson in her blog post describes in detail the more curious features of the movies. And she gets to the heart of the differences. As someone who has read The Hobbit twelve times, I can testify that she knows what she’s talking about. This is all the more amazing since she never read the book. 

Space is a Vacuum

Okay, summer blockbuster season is coming, and for some people the bigger the special effects, the lower the I.Q. they end up with.

What’s with those sound effects in space movies? They give people a distorted view of space. How many times has a movie set in space been nominated for an award for best sound effects?

public domain 

I once mentioned to someone who was attending the University of Washington that space is a vacuum.

He said, “No it’s not.”

I looked at him, thunderstruck.

He said, “I could hear the explosions in Star Wars.”

Dum dum dum.

Movie Review: Pitch Perfect 2

If you liked Pitch Perfect, you’ll like Pitch Perfect 2. If you didn’t see Pitch Perfect, then get with the program! Watch the original—as my previous post advised at the time—get a feel for the joy a daffy group of girls have as they learn to sing together, then go see the sequel.

Anna Kendrick reprises her role as Beca, the new girl who had led her a cappella group the Barden Bellas to victory in the first movie. She and the returning members of that group are seniors now, and they perform with confidence their elaborate dance and quasi-gymnastic moves that accompany their singing. But because of a wardrobe malfunction by Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson), the Bellas may be disbanded unless they win an international competition against a scary German group.

As for the inevitable question—is it as good as the first movie—well, no, that would be just about impossible. The first movie had the Barden Bellas as obvious underdogs, whereas the sequel has them as a senior-dominated group capable of professional productions. And Beca was experiencing first love in the first movie, but in this one she is so established in her relationship, the boyfriend is relegated to a minor character. Keeping that in mind, it’s still good entertainment.

 A number of characters are back: Chloe the talkative redhead, who is the actual leader of the group. Stacie, the tall girl who is preoccupied with sex. Lilly, who can barely be heard, whose best line is, “I sleep upside down, like a bat.” Even the two minor characters who don’t have real speaking parts are back, and the joke this time is that after all these years, Beca still doesn’t know their names. And when Aubrey, the blonde leader from the first movie, makes a surprise return, it’s quite funny.

So overall it’s a good effort by the director, Elizabeth Banks. Yes, she plays the female color commentator who puts up with the misogynist comments by her co-host.

Mingle Media TV

Grace Lee Whitney—In Memoriam

Grace Lee Whitney: 1930 – 2015

Grace Lee Whitney was more commonly known to fans as Yeoman Rand from the old Star Trek (though she became Lieutenant Rand for the movies and one episode of Star Trek: Voyager.) I strongly recommend her autobiography, The Longest Trek: My Tour of the Galaxy.

The cover shows them holding flashlights, since the prop department hadn’t issued them phasers yet. She covers other tidbits of insider information like that.

Even if you’re lukewarm about Star Trek, she has funny stories about Hollywood. She was an extra in Some Like it Hot, starring Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe. She describes what an airhead Marilyn Monroe was, sometimes opening a drawer for no reason during filming because she had hidden a page of the script there to read.

What she mainly wanted to be known for was how she survived addiction to alcohol and drugs. Her autobiography is brutally realistic about how she hit rock bottom as an addict. She actually reached the stage where she could not get drunk no matter how much she drank, and could not get sober when she stopped. Her friends in Alcoholics Anonymous warned her that was the final stage before death.

I’m glad she penned such an honest chronicle of her life, and I’m amazed she lived to age eighty-five.