Hard Words

I am having the worst time with my science fiction manuscript in the terminology and names.

I first called their version of the internet the ethergrid, figuring no one would combine an ethereal term with an abrupt term for something physical. But some years ago a company called their new product the ethergrid. I had to put in a lot of thought on what new word I would use. I finally settled on a word in common use, but which no sane person would use for their product. The common theme here is finding a term that is not copyright or trademarked.

I came up with a fruit called chuppa. But I didn't do my homework before using that in my story. So it turns out there is a fruit called chupa in the Amazon rainforest that looks nothing like the chuppa I describe. Also, it can be a vulgar slang term. So, after a little research, I changed it to a word that some people already use as a harmless slang term.

The name of the planet in my story was Vallannadren, and the inhabitants called Vallannans. But a gamer invented a fantasy land called Vallanna. I could not believe it. A friend suggested I use a name in his family that begins with a V. I was tempted, but decided not to. One might wonder what Finnish people named Härkönen think of the Dune book and movies. So I simply made up a name I can’t find on the internet.

Two hapless ensigns will be sent down to the planet. To humiliate them, their shuttle gets renamed "Space Cadets," and they have to use that as their call sign. But people pretty much agree that Robert Heinlein invented that term.

Now I have to invent some other demeaning term that has not already been taken. Believe it or not, Space Kittens, Space Puppies, Space Pigs, Space Beavers, and Space Unicorns have all been used. (I wouldn’t use Space Unicorns anyway, since they couldn’t handle the controls with their hooves.)

So be careful when creating terms for your invented worlds. All I can say is the internet is your friend for finding out if a word is taken.

Editing

One of my manuscripts is Day 10K, a science fiction novel for adults with some humorous elements. On the advice of a couple of professional beta readers, I need to get people down from their spaceship to a colonized world faster.

The main problem was chapter 4. The entire chapter has good writing, but much of it was getting in the way. A difficult decision for a writer is not so much getting rid of bad writing, but getting rid of good writing.

So after taking out chunks, chapter 4 went from nineteen pages to nine pages. More work will be done on chapter 5, but the changes to chapter 4 were the largest.

Norwescon II--Supplemental

Ken Scholes and Kristi Charish held a workshop where, among other things, they answered common questions. I asked whether it is considered fair to let an agent who sold a novel to keep getting the proceeds from it, even if the author leaves the agent. They said it was not a matter of fairness; it is part of the agreement.

 

Jessie Kwak writes science fiction detective novels.

By the way, there was a Dalek at the convention.

 

It was autographed by Peter Capaldi! He was the Twelfth Doctor. He was definitely my favorite. (Actually, I don’t watch Doctor Who much. It was his standoffish look that intrigued me.)

 

Torrey Stenmark was also there in her floor costume. Serious cosplayers often have one costume for walking around on the floor of the convention, and another one for competition.

 

Paycheck for Short Story

My short story “Flash of Brilliance” was published in Abyss & Apex. You can read it free here for at least a month.

They sent me a nice card.

Here is the thank you side. It shows a tiny sliver of the check they included.

My Short Story is Published

My short story “Flash of Brilliance” has been published! It is a science fiction story set in space.

Abyss & Apex is an online magazine of speculative fiction. You can read my story on their website free for a couple months here.

Happy reading. Please share any comments on their site, beneath my story. Of course, you always make a duplicate comment on this blog. 

Dream of Short Stories

I dreamt that I was at a convention with a workshop on writing, similar to Norwescon or Worldcon. The woman leading the workshop emphasized everything that needs to go into a novel. I had with me a manuscript for a long novel (for a beginner). It was written in four parts. As the woman continued to speak, I realized that what I had was actually four short stories, not a novel.

I had a meeting set for Wednesday, when a number of us could present our manuscripts for a professional to look at it. This would be a prime opportunity. But since what I had was not really a novel, I knew it would not work out. I cancelled my part in the meeting.

When I woke up, I knew the manuscript I had with me in the dream was for a science fiction novel I had written, with main character Ensign Tica Manus. What I had dreamt was true: This was not a novel, but four short stories. (They are actually more like novellas or novelettes.) I will polish them up and submit them to magazines.

In the nineteenth century, the German organic chemist Friedrich August Kekule tried to puzzle out the structure of the benzene molecule. He came up with a circular model of self-linking carbon atoms. His work revolutionized organic chemistry. In a famous speech, Kekule said he came up with the idea after having a daydream of a snake seizing its tale.

image by Français

Paul McCartney composed the song “Yesterday” in a dream. I have heard more than one version of this story. In one version, he rushed to write it down. In the other, he had the song going through his head for much of the day, not recognizing it. He finally realized he had composed it in a dream, then wrote it down.

photo by Mono Macca

It’s a pity such dreams cannot happen on demand. Have you had any such dreams, whether on solving a problem or creating new art?

Book and Movie Reviews—New Style

In the past, I’ve said this is not a negative blog. I’ve tried to avoid making negative comments on books and movies. This has prevented me from reviewing some books, because to be honest I would have had to say some negative things. From now on I’m going to give the sort of reviews one might read in magazines, which discuss both strengths and weaknesses.

Also, I’m not going to give a SPOILER alert anymore. Obviously, I will not try to spoil a book or movie for anyone. But the reader should be able to sense that the farther one reads a review, the more that might be revealed.

So this is still not a negative blog. But the style will change to be more in conformity with professional reviews.

photo by Christian Bohr

Norwescon 2—Supplemental

Norwescon was held at a hotel near the SeaTac airport. Here’s a view with an airliner taking off in the upper left.

 

I should have said in yesterday’s post that Kimberly Unger was one of the speakers on the subject of AI—or not really AI, just machine learning.

 

 Later, she won the Philip K. Dick award for best paperback novel (science fiction of fantasy) published last year. Here she is with the award for her book, The Extractionist.

For me, the best event was a workshop called “Plotting Your Novel with Save the Cat!“ A lot of people have good writing skills. They can write interesting scenes. But they are told their story structure will not attract readers. Our instructor, Emily Leverett, went over in detail the best story structure that works over and over again, using the book Save the Cat! Writes a Novel, by Jessica Brody.

As Emily Leverett emphasized, this is not a matter of imposing a wooden template that gets rid of originality. The story template comes from observing successful novels and movies. It can be seen in stories as diverse as The Lord of the Rings novels, the Star Wars movies, Jane Austen novels, the movie Legally Blonde, etc.

As to what the phrase Save the Cat! means, buy the book. It will do you good.

You’re Good at Whole Foods

I know that some people didn’t like it when Amazon took over Whole Foods, but there is an advantage to it.

My internet connection was slowing down, which was more than inconvenient. I’m trying to send out letters to agents to find someone who will sign me on as a client for my historical fantasy, Temple Beyond the Sea. My connection became so slow, some agency websites showed up piecemeal. The ones that did show up okay took a long while to load, especially since one has to look at multiple pages to see which agents accepts which genres, their query letter requirements, etc. I suspected it was my modem.

I ordered a new one from Amazon. Guess what, I ordered the wrong kind.

It had come in one of those huge 11x17 padded envelopes. I had cut the top off, and I didn’t relish the idea of taping it up securely to haul to an Amazon locker.

This is the small part

While setting up my return, Amazon gave me the option of returning it to Whole Foods Market. That’s right, I had noticed the curiosity of the Amazon return area in the store. It’s close by, and I wouldn’t have to put it back in the envelope.

public domain

So I took the modem over there in its box and stood in line at that curious Amazon return area. After the guy there scanned the QR code Amazon had sent me, he put it on a cart and said, “You’re good.”

As an aside, I try to buy my books from Barnes & Noble to keep the local bookstores open. But if it’s going to be something cumbersome I might have to return, I’ll keep the Whole Foods option in mind.

Hot Greece

I’m preparing to send out my manuscript, Temple Beyond the Sea, set in ancient Greek civilization. The standard practice is to send a manuscript out to as many agents as possible in a “shotgun” approach and hope that one will accept it. (And if you are reading this post, dear agent, know that you are special.) What will hopefully work to my advantage is that reimaginings of Greek mythology is a hot trend now. You can walk into a Barnes & Noble and see a number of titles.

One of these novels is about Norse mythology
I’ll let you guess which one

If you follow my blog, you’ll know that I’ve written more than one novel manuscript. Do not leave this to chance. Have more than one way to strike while the iron is hot. For now, here in excerpt from Temple Beyond the Sea.

Aye vs. Yes

What’s the difference between “Aye” and “Yes” when watching a military program, especially a science fiction one that uses these terms? A friend of mine who used to fly Naval Air told me that in the Navy and Marines, “Yes” is used to respond to a question, but “Aye” is used to respond to an order.

Many science fiction novels, movies, and TV shows use naval ranks and terminology. John Hemry, who is my favorite author and an old Navy hand, said that was because the Navy has experience keeping crews on ships for extended periods, and the Navy has bases around the world. That may be why this is used for spaceships in science fiction.

My current science fiction story is Alpha Shift. I’ve finished doing a thorough re-edit of the manuscript. Here’s what it looks like printed out.

 

Writing at the Mall

I usually do a good amount of writing at malls. It doesn’t always work out (see my entry on Mallrats). But I write in malls because if I write at home I start thinking of other things I need to do, like cleaning.

Last Saturday, I was in Bellevue Square. (Bellevue is the largest suburb of Seattle.) It connects by a skybridge to Lincoln Square.

Here’s a view from it looking north:

Oddly enough, there is no glass on this side of the skybridge. They must have figured that having glass on the south was all that was needed to keep the wind from blowing through.

Here’s a view looking south:

Here is from a different angle. It’s a little hard to see, but there are three movie posters, each as tall as a floor—a very tall floor. They showcase A Quiet Place 2 and Bad Boys for Life. I’m not sure what the third movie is. Any guesses?

click to enlarge

It’ll be nice when the theatres are open again.

Not Making the Cut

Getting writing advice is a tricky thing. I hired a freelance editor to go over my fairy version of The War of the Worlds, tentatively called Fairy War. She gave a lot of interesting advice. Of course, it’s up to me to decide what to accept or decline.

Fairy War mainly takes place in the London area, but I had some side chapters take place in Seattle. The freelance editor thought my story was too long, so she advised me to cut the Seattle chapters.

public domain

I did so, keeping the Seattle chapters in a separate file. After that, I made other cuts that shortened the story by about 10,000 words. But then one of my beta readers said it dragged in the middle. That was where my Seattle chapters had been the most dramatic. Also, a former agent who gives online advice I really trust says agents and editors expect fantasy to be a little longer than I had thought. (The addition of fairies makes my story more on the fantasy side.) Although beginning writers should not push the limits, I’ve decided to add the Seattle chapters back in.

However, when going over these chapters I realized there were too many minor characters. I’ll have to eliminate one of them. So it turns out a pixie named Mona will not make the cut. Here’s the scene where she’s introduced.

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Wycliffe was about to inquire what more he could do to help when a barmaid came over, smelling of rose water, holding a tankard they hadn’t ordered.

She set it down gently. “I apologize for interrupting.”

They stared at her in curiosity. Then Portia reached out and glided her hand down the barmaid’s arm. “Fellow pixie.”

“I heard what you’re planning. They’ll probably attack tomorrow, right? I want to help.”

Tingo looked at her skeptically. “I don’t know what fighting skill you have. And it’s not clear what us women will do. Perhaps you should stay here.”

#

Now we’ll never know what Mona would have done. So sad.

Pacific Northwest Writers Conference

As advertised, I attended a great writers conference. The Pacific Northwest Writers Conference normally meets in SeaTac (yes, the city thought that would be a great name for a place between Seattle and Tacoma), but it was virtual this year. I paid $175 for just the Saturday sessions. Was it worth it? Yes it was.

Easily the best session was by Nicole Persun. She’s comparatively young, but she is a great writing coach. Think of going to a gym and finding out a trainer there is young but has a lot of experience. Nicole gave a very detailed presentation on editing at both the macro level and the micro level.

Nicole J. Persun 

 Photo used by permission

I’m going to go over my manuscripts the way she said to.

Not to be ignored was Pam Binder. a very experienced writer who gave tips to energize the middle of a novel, which often sags.

A fascinating session was “Cop Talk and Procedures.” Officers from a number of different agencies shared their experiences. As everyone knows, police officers in New York City are visibly present and highly respected. In Seattle, they try not to be visible and are shown much less respect, though they have high standards for behavior. An important background feature for contemporary stories is the different levels of visibility of and respect for police in different cities.

Most realistic shows on police: The Wire is good for corruption and ethics, Southland has realistic characters, Barney Miller has realistic relationships, Breaking Bad has realistic cases, End of Watch gets the banter right. Hill Street Blues was also recommended for realistic relationships, but I know that commentators said they were consistently bad on how the law works.

I wondered if it was worth it to watch the awards ceremony, but when I tuned in, that was clearly the right choice. Aspiring writers had submitted their manuscripts in categories like science fiction/fantasy, suspense, memoir, etc. The looks on the faces of the winners, some of whom have presumably been more or less quarantined for a while, made it a joyous event.

It’s hard to explain how great the conference was. It was a relief, after so many things have been shut down.

Book Purge / Star Trek

So it was time to pack up some books that I either won’t need anymore or decided weren’t that interesting. Holding the box in front of the used bookstore, I was surprised by a sign that stated they were now buying books by appointment. Still standing there in front of the windows, I called the number on the sign. They weren’t taking any appointments at the moment since they were all booked up for August. Later I made an appointment for September.

Notice I put the Star Trek Encyclopedia prominently on top. Am I not interested in Star Trek anymore? No. It’s just that such printed reference guides for the shows and movies are obsolete. The online guides are more complete because they can be constantly updated.

Anyway, we are supposedly getting a new series, called Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. This might be good for your truly, since a long time ago Star Trek had a series of contests for amateur writers to submit short stories. I finally had a story accepted in the fifth year of the contest. And what was that series of books called? Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. People may get confused and buy the books (hopefully the fifth one), thinking they are related to the new series.

Not my fault.

Amazon Lockers vs. The Porch Pirates

Just to be upfront, I prefer ordering books from Barnes & Noble. But I have to admit, the Amazon lockers can be a lifesaver. Here in the Seattle area, we have a bad case of the porch pirates: Scummy people who steal delivery boxes right off a person’s front porch. They’re just looking for electronics or other valuables. If it turns out to be a book or DVD, these creeps probably just toss it. With Amazon lockers nearby I can go there, put in a code I was sent, and access my package.

Before that, three deliveries were stolen from my doorstep. One was a DVD that isn’t being made anymore. Water, starring Michael Caine, was one of the funniest movies ever made.

Sure, I can buy the horribly expensive copies left on Amazon, or some cheaper version that will only play on a German DVD player.

A book I lost that really irks me is And the Beagles and the Bunnies Shall Lie Down Together. This was a collection of all the Peanuts comic strips that quoted the Bible.

Wait. I saw just now I can get it again on Amazon for not too big of a price. See ya.

Better Call Saul—with DeepFake

I previously blogged about DeepFake videos. At that time, they could not also fake people’s voices. (There is fake voice and lip-movement technology, but that is separate and incompatible at this time.) Now the fake videos are to some extent able to fake voices. If you watch the clip below, sometimes the words don’t match the lips, but the voice sounds real.

It features Trump’s face mapped onto Bob Odenkirk’s face. Since it has the Trump voice saying a nasty word, I'll just leave the link here if you care to explore it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho9h0ouemWQ&t=45s

The major concern as these fakes get better, is that we might see on the internet a video of President Trump or Kim Jong-un announcing they’ve launched nuclear missiles.

On a more mundane but personal note, are you eager for video banking? When someone can fake your face and voice, then tell the bank to transfer your savings to some account in the Bahamas?

And I would be remiss if I didn’t put in an excerpt from my novel Alpha Shift. Captain Christina Chechi is about to find out how badly her ship’s communications have been hacked.

A wall monitor gave a nonsensical message from Captain Akajima that didn’t mention her, Captain Chechi.

Arms at her sides, Christina made both hands into fists, hard, as if she were a teenager willing herself to grow taller. She raised one of them and tried calling the bridge.

A smiling picture of herself showed, wearing the wrong red dress. The image was an abomination of perfect hair, makeup, and costume, and it gave a winning smile as it said that all conditions were normal.

Christina hit the wall monitor.

She put her hands over her eyes and told herself to simmer down. Then she considered anew the general quarters alarms. This is not just about me. Even though she was captain, she was just one person, but communications in general had been sabotaged. They’re trying to take the ship. My ship.

Contest Coming Up Fairy Soon

A contest is coming up for aspiring writers. We are to write a short synopsis of a finished novel, then add the first two sentences. The winner will get a free critique from a professional editor of the first ten pages of the story. So here’s the synopsis, then the first two sentences will be below the picture. Let me know what you think.

Ashley, a fairy, grows to human size and helps out in the war of the worlds when Martian cylinders land. Steam-powered war machines emerge, wielding heat-rays in their metallic tentacles. Although Ashley comports herself as a lady, she gathers her courage and flies near the head of one of the machines to help guide the artillery. But the resulting explosion separates her from her friends, leading to a lonely odyssey in war-torn England.  

On midsummer’s eve I stood on the central toadstool, gripping the bumpy surface with my toes. The moist air from the humus below clung to my bare skin, the warm mugginess attacking the elaborate curls I had styled for the occasion.

Copyright

It may surprise readers (and wannabe writers) that legally, writers do not sell stories. That’s how it’s described in everyday terms, such as selling a story to a magazine or selling a novel to a publisher. But in legal terms, what writers sell is copyright.

This can become extremely complicated. See my post on speakers at Norwescon on how publishers try to get the rights to audiobooks. They will also try to get the rights to movie versions, graphic book versions, action figures, t-shirts, etc. This all has to be negotiated. But it underlines the fact that what the writer sells is copyright to the story. In some contracts, the rights revert to the writer if sales of the novel fall below a certain point. And there are nightmare stories of a publisher going bankrupt, and writers have no clear path to recovering their copyright.

On the lighter side, the old Star Trek did some black and white publicity photos. They never copyrighted them. They are public domain.

Don’t know who this is? Watch an old show.

Game of Furries

The official trailer for the movie Cats is out, and the reaction is not pretty. Movie reviewers say they’ve never seen backlash against a movie trailer that is so purrfectly full of bile. I haven’t seen the stage musical Cats, but apparently it featured singers and dancers who had faux cat hair flamboyantly glued on, especially on their faces. This movie version features what look like humanoid cat creatures. Here’s your treat: 

I could make a few remarks, such as: And it has _____ playing herself. But I don’t want to get protested.

So . . . if people do not really look like cats, it’s amusing, but if people really look like cats, it’s creepy?

The funny thing is, my novel Alpha Shift has a brief scene that mentions something like this. A previous excerpt is here. My friends Erin and Grace can attest that I wrote this story before the movie trailer came out. (This is the bad guy reminiscing.)

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Derk’s vision clouded with those times in the suite prepared just for him, with gin and vermouth in the precise proportions, and the women over six feet tall dressed head to toe in their skintight furry outfits.

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As you can tell, my story is a cultural treat.