Book Review: Susan, You’re the Chosen One

Susan, You’re the Chosen One by Lauretta Hignett

Susan Moore is a middle-aged woman going through a difficult menopause. She used to live an opulent life, but her ex-husband Vincent divorced her and is now living with an intern less than half her age. Susan’s meager existence is crammed into a half-studio apartment next to her building’s roof access. One night she sees four young people standing on the ledge. They look like Lord of the Rings elven warrior cosplayers. She tells them to get down.

 Later, they come a knocking. Cress, who looks like she’s just past her teens, assumes Susan is the Chosen One. Susan sends them off. When they return, the oldest, Prince Donovan (whom Susan thinks is hot, though he is in his late twenties), takes the lead. Connor simply makes her apartment door disappear.

Susan assumes this is another hallucination. And this is one of number of things that makes Susan so interesting. At first, we were very sympathetic to her, and ready to hate her ex-husband Vincent. But we learn more about her in dribs and drabs. Susan suffers from “Menopause-induced paranoid schizophrenia, intermittent explosive disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, acute psychosis, and rage.” (p. 19). Concerning the divorce, she thinks “I’d lost him, and it was all my fault.” (p. 22).  Even more disturbingly, “I’d hurt him. I’d almost killed him.” (p. 23).

At one point, Seraphina visits, the intern-turned-fiancée. A delicate young woman, she says she and Vincent were concerned about her and just wanted her to get better. Susan becomes so hostile, Seraphina “flinched, like a beautiful doe in a meadow startled by a loud noise.” (p. 147).

So this is not the average urban fantasy. Usually, we would expect the protagonist to look like the young Fae girl Cress, complete with a long sword strapped to her back and a dagger at her hip. After all, who doesn’t enjoy reading about some Buffy beating down some creature? But she and the Fae Prince Donovan and their two companions are supporting characters. Or, the protagonist could be more like Seraphina, who would eventually become bolder. But she’s not it, either.

How many urban fantasy novels have a middle-aged woman as the main character?

But is our protagonist good? Yes—mostly. Her ambiguous nature due to her past keeps us curious. And what hallucinations did she have? When the supporting characters tell her she is the Chosen One—among other things, that means she has inherited the bloodlines of all the species, including fae, humans, and mermaids—she thinks she is having an interesting episode.

When Susan is forced underwater, she finds she can breathe because she is part mermaid. She even talks a sea witch into revealing her spark stone. But all the time she thinks she is having a long hallucination. It’s not until halfway through the novel, when her two fae companions visit her office and talk to humans there, that she realizes all this is real.

As far as the plot is concerned, Donovan’s younger brother needs to be stopped. He wants to swallow all the spark stones—yes, swallow—and that would be bad. But the plot hardly matters. What matters are the funny interactions between Susan and her new companions.

 Cress describes one of the spark stones, saying, “It is a light blue, clear, like your mortal sky on a cloudless day.” After searching for a while on her phone, Susan waves an image of it at them. When asked where she found it, she replies, “On eBay.” (p. 44).

Donovan wants to steal this spark stone, instead of buying it. Susan knows the owner and warns he has a rottweiler as a guard dog. She tries to describe it, and Donovan concludes it is one of the “hell-hound familiars” that guard some of the fae. (pp. 48-49).

At Susan’s workplace, a sleezy guy knows about her mental issues. He threatens to use that to get the promotion she deserves. She calls him a “Loki wannabe.” And so, “Loki?” Cress gasped. “He is here? In the human realm?” (p. 62).

When going to lunch, Donovan says, “Make haste, woman. Gather your things.” (p. 86.) I’m sure all women like to be talked to that way.

Astute readers will notice these amusing quotations are from the first hundred pages of the book. But these moments don’t stop there. It simply becomes harder to come up with a pithy quotation without giving much more context.

For something less amusing, there is the moment Donovan confronts the jerk who is trying to steal Susan’s promotion. Donovan grabs him by the throat in the classic way, then says, “From this day forth, you will never look directly at the woman you call Susan Moore. You will not make eye contact.” (p. 128). The sleazy guy is so terrified, he does not contact human resources.  

Overall, Susan, You’re the Chosen One by Lauretta Hignett is a fun read with an unusual protagonist. Susan does use foul language, which her four companions do not, which is a disadvantage. But all the fish out of water experiences—on both sides—are constantly amusing.