TV Review: The Ark

A sleeper ship containing dozens of people in suspended animation has a violent impact just one year short of the planet they were sent to colonize. The entire command staff was wiped out in the impact. But that is just the beginning of their problems. They only have four weeks’ worth of water. They have six weeks’ worth of food.

Lieutenant Sharon Garnet (Christie Burke) takes command. Everyone on board is an expert in something: science, engineering, etc. She assigns some of the crew to retrofit the water recycling unit meant for the colony. This is no easy task: The right equipment has to be scavenged. An attempt is made to grow food in a cargo bay. But the power requirements for the lights can impinge on the search for equipment. Always, somebody disagrees with her decisions.

There are so many problems with the premier episode of The Ark. I don’t consider anything that follows to be a spoiler. When the crew wakes up from suspended animation, they are instantly alert and able to sprint to a safer part of the ship. Seriously? They later show the compression suits they were in was what allowed them to run, but inflated pants don’t work that way.

They use the centrifugal effect (actually centripetal force) to simulate gravity. One part of the ship stopped rotating. When it starts again, people in mid-air immediately fall to the floor. Physics doesn’t work that way, man! There is no reason why people in mid-air would suddenly fall like that. They would bounce off the walls and possibly the ceiling first before settling onto the floor. (The movie Passengers had the same problem, but I digress.)

While we’re at it, the ship has two rotating sections. They rotate the same way. That would make for an intense Coriolis effect, so the whole ship would rotate against its axis. It would be better if the sections rotated in opposite directions, or had one large section rotating one way, and two smaller sections rotating a different way. (Look at Ragnar Station in the premier of Battlestar Galactica. They almost got it right.)

For the more personal matters, some jerk sarcastically addresses a woman he thinks is Russian as “comrade.” What? That was a term used in the days of the Soviet Union. Why would someone a hundred years from now use it?

There is a blonde ditz who does “Valley Girl” talk. One scene implies she is showing off her naked body. Save that for soap operas. 

Two young geeky people wear geeky glasses. Why? To let us know they are geeks. I didn’t see anyone else wearing glasses.

There are three lieutenants. The other two dispute whether Lt. Garnet should be in charge, since they are all equal. Obviously they have equal rank, but they wouldn’t have equal seniority. If one of them was promoted even a day before the others, that one would be the senior officer. Lieutenants would be well aware of who is senior to whom.

Believe it or not, this is not a negative blog. Despite all the problems, I plan to continue to watch The Ark. The challenge of how they will survive is intriguing. I like Lieutenant Garnet. Also, I like Lieutenant James Brice’s (Richard Fleeshman's) Scottish accent.