Monday, September 17, 2012

First Page Contest – Day 10K

I suppose I should show the excerpt I entered into the First Page Contest I mentioned in my last post.  This is a little longer than my excerpt for the contest, as I start by introducing three of the main characters. 

As a side note, I’ll probably be blogging less often—maybe once a week.  I’m starting some online courses, so I’ll have to concentrate on them. 

photo by JulieCarree

Astonished, Shushan looked up at the blue sky . . . and bit a chunk out of the chuppa fruit she had been holding in her teeth, the rest of it bouncing on the tar paper roof beneath her feet.  The silver glint seemed to be the right angle among the clouds.  It had to be:  The ship that had come from Earth, come to prevent their colony from collapsing. 

It was almost too late—her family had made their decision to flee the cities before the riots started.  And this emergency generator for her bank she had climbed on a whim—it would belch oil tomorrow if all the banks went down.  All her dreams for the future, all the endless horizons that had just started to beckon her would end in grubby ashes if this world slid backwards—again. 

Shushan wiped at the under-wimple that covered her chin, in case any juice had smeared, then looked at the glint in the sky again.  “They won’t let us down. They won’t let it happen.”


Ensign Nathan Kendrick tossed the clipboard onto his bunk in disgust, watching the words scroll across the digital surface: A cowardly order to withdraw all their teams to the ship, to abandon the planet they had come to help. He would confront the captain on this final outrage, even if it would ruin his career. He straightened up and—

—clipped his right ear on the fan perched on the top bunk. Of course it was on. The junior grade lieutenants’ foul exhale when they slept made the narrow quarters seem more like the low-oxygen training back at the Academy. Kendrick was only glad his uniform had been cleaned and pressed, smelling crisply of naphtha. The jacket had to be square on his shoulders, everything had to be in place for when he questioned the captain’s judgment. He strode into the hallway.

Mannheim bumped into him. Or rather, his clipboard did.

1 comment:

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