Suburban Fantasy

The Martians Emerge

2012-02-29T08:33:00.000-08:00

Tara Tyler is having her 300+ Follower Celebration by letting us post brief blurbs about our works in progress. I did so for my mashup of The War of the Worlds. Of course, you’ll get a larger excerpt below. (Keep in mind, it’s Victorian-ish in style.)

The Martians are just emerging from their cylinder. I’ve flipped the main character to female.

The whole creature heaved and pulsated convulsively, its oily skin resembling some great fungus on a rotting log in a dank forest. The quivering of its mouth and the heaving of its body were only matched by the curling and uncurling of its tentacles. The great mass of them, on either side of its mouth, brought the term “Gorgon” to mind, rather than “Martian.” But there was a deliberation to the movement of its tentacles, and a vital intensity to the immense eyes as it observed us and the surroundings that conveyed a nastiness of spirit. A tentacle rose in the air, swaying, then it pointed at me. Cold sweat broke out on my brow, and I was overcome with disgust and dread.

Slowly, the monstrous thing slid over the edge of the cylinder like a clump of wet snow toppling off an eave when sufficiently melted. It thudded like a great mass of leather in the pit. The most peculiar, thick cry finally emanated from it. Then another of these creatures appeared, glistening, crawling forward like the first.

I turned and ran.

Bordermandias

2012-02-27T06:47:00.000-08:00

The Borders bookstore from my previous post

I met a traveler from an antique land

Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown

And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear:

'My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away."

Now the Forever 21 store

First Campaigner Challenge

2012-02-23T17:34:00.000-08:00

Rachael Harrie is holding her First Campaigner Challenge. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall.” As an added challenge, do one or more of these:

end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)

include the word "orange" in the story

write in the same genre you normally write

make your story 200 words exactly!

I did all four. Please enjoy.

Shadows crept across the wall, spikes and fangs protruding.

I’m awake inside my stasis pod. It’s happening again. How many did we lose at Turloka 4? Seventeen? Eighteen? Their dying screams echo in my ears as I claw at my chest buckle, releasing the straps.

Too late. The creature slithers into the chamber. Its eyes key on motion. I go rigid inside the pod. But my muscles jitter after coming out of stasis.

A man and a woman enter, casual, leather armor on their elbows and knees.

I hammer at the internal latches with my fists, kick the pod cover open. My throat thick from stasis sleep, I can only rasp, “Look out!”

The creature lunges.

The man whips out a spray can. Orange aerosol hits the creature between its eyebrow ridges. It falls on its side, chitinous carapace melting. The claws spasm a death rattle.

I stand on the deck plating, struck dumb. The woman scans my gray underwear with an instrument on her wrist. “In stasis fifty-seven years. We’ve had some progress since then.”

It’s over. I put my hand up to my eyes, remembering the ones who didn’t make it. Everything fades.

“Dude, put some clothes on.”

WRiTE CLUB

2012-02-22T18:26:00.001-08:00

DL Hammons runs WRiTE CLUB.

The first rule is You do not talk about WRiTE CLUB.

The second rule is You do not talk about WRiTE CLUB.

But I was eliminated early, so I’m ~~blabbing~~ giving them publicity.

WRiTE

I was in Round 6, with an excerpt from one of my Athena novels. I thought I had a pretty good chance. Unfortunately, I went up against a skilled competitor. My pen name was NextMark. See who you think should have won Round 6.

They’re in the quarter-finals now, so you might want to check out who wins.

Great Examples of Book Trailers

2012-02-20T16:46:00.000-08:00

Holly Cupala has the most interesting trailer for her novel, Don’t Breathe a Word.

Although she didn’t say so, I think this could be what illustrations in ebooks will look like in the future: Short scenes, maybe a few seconds long each, embedded in the ebook itself. The author herself may shoot the videos (and readers would enjoy the earnestness of the effort), or hire a professional.

For those who prefer the graphic arts, another trailer uses illustrations drawn by Realm Lovejoy.

So this is an impressive book launch by Holly Cupala, as well as a nice mini-tour of Seattle.

A Good Computer Recycler

2012-02-18T10:16:00.000-08:00

I took my three old computers to InterConnection.org for recycling. As I handed one to a worker there, he said, “Oh, that’s an old one!”

I said, “It’s the first one I ever owned.”

Dewey Louie Hewey

Now that I think about it, my first one was an Apple IIe. I labored mightily on it to write an entire novel using WordPerfect. Anyone? Anyone?

But InterConnection.org has a good reputation for erasing the hard drive, which was the main reason I had hung onto the three relics for so long. It would be a pain to plug them up to monitors and keyboards again and use some erasing software that I’m not even sure the oldest one could handle. The alternative would be to spin the internal disks around while holding a sturdy form of sandpaper up to them.

Also, they’ll fix up some of the usable computers and give them to third world countries. So if you live in the Seattle area and have computers you’re using as ottomans, you might stop on by.

But I have to admit, mine were not as cute as the drones in Silent Running.

Freelance Editor

2012-02-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

Emily R. King is hosting her What’s New Wednesday. For me, it’s a new phase in writing:

I finally hired a freelance editor to go over one of my manuscripts, and it was a neat experience. Leigh T. Moore edited my vampire satire, and she made valuable comments, as well as catching some embarrassing inconsistencies.

Some freelancers will charge you thousands of dollars, but I found her rate very reasonable. If you’re skittish about the idea, she’ll do a free 500 word sample edit. So I recommend:

Leigh T. Moore

Alien or Human?

2012-02-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

This is Ioana from Romania.

Is she from Mars or what?

No, she just eats Mars bars all day.

When she was in Romania with her 20-inch waist, she couldn’t get a husband, because thin = impoverished family. She seems to have some natural stricture that has the same result as certain gastric bypass surgeries. She tried eating Mars candy bars to fatten up, but was still skinny.

Now she has a husband in Germany and a career as a model. She eats lots of pizza and other things, but still can’t gain weight.

Don’t you feel sorry for her?

Five Marketing Myths

2012-02-08T05:57:00.000-08:00

Sheralyn Pratt at her blog has shared five Marketing Myths. This is different from the writing half-truths I've posted on. Hers are about the commerce part of art vs. commerce. Her myths are:

1. Think big.
2. Do what you love, the money will follow.
3. Aim for your goals.
4. Practice makes perfect.
5. Be yourself.

You'll have to go to her blog to see how she unpacks these.

Liam Neeson - Phone Message

2012-02-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

I remember Liam Neeson from a small part he had in The Bounty, for being the voice of Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia, and for being the ex-CIA guy who is determined to track down and kill the guys who kidnapped his daughter in Taken.

Listen to the phone message he leaves for a fan:

Please leave a message if you’re willing to admit you’re holding your cell phone up to my blog right now.

Critique Blogfest

2012-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

Teralyn Rose Pilgrim is hosting her Critique Blogfest.

Please make comments on my blog re:

a. Appearance: Does it appeal to you? Is it too busy, or too plain?

b. Layout: Is it difficult to navigate? Is it cluttered, or sparse?

c. Frequency: Does the blogger post too often? Not often enough?

d. Content: Are the posts interesting? Unique? Are they focused, or all over the place?

e. Quality: Are the individual posts too long, too short, too sloppy, or too generic?

Then go to her blog and critique some of the other participants.

Thanks to Margo Kelly and jonyangorg for already participating on my previous post.

Real Alcatraz Tweet

2012-01-30T17:22:00.000-08:00

As a follow-up to my post on the Alcatraz characters, here's something funny. The real Alcatraz does Twitter, and they are distancing themselves from the TV show and the movie The Rock.

AlcatrazIsland Alcatraz Island

Pic of sign on the real #AlcatrazIsland due to the TV show #Alcatraz. There are no tunnels like in The Rock either (g). ow.ly/i/r6jU

Fox40 reports that because of the TV show, people "are snooping around in closed off areas."

I suppose you could get bragging rights for being arrested at Alcatraz.

Alcatraz—The return of McCoy, Kirk, and Spock

2012-01-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

. . . so I was finally watching the premiere of Alcatraz (with J.J. Abrams as executive producer), and I was wondering what the Detective Madsen (Sarah Jones) character was doing in such a gritty series. Then I realized she’s the action character of the team, the Captain Kirk: Clean-faced, somewhat amused by the tense conflict, never afraid of danger.

Photo by Gage Skidmore

I was astounded with how the other two main characters matched up. The guy in charge is Hauser (Sam Neill), the crotchety McCoy character who never misses a chance to look like he enjoys sucking lemons. Never mind that he’s in charge; it’s not rank that counts when seeing stereotypes or archetypes, it’s the nature of the character.

Dr. Soto (Jorge Garcia) is the Spock character: He’s the expert who has endless stores of knowledge in his head, and who is instantly respected for that. I’m not saying he acts in a rigidly logical manner, but he lacks ease in social interactions and has an outside-the-mainstream personality, and that’s all it takes.

Photo by Gage Skidmore

Insightful people maintain that what kept the viewing audience coming back week after week for the old Star Trek was not the special effects or the strange new worlds, but the fascinating interactions among Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. In Alcatraz, Detective Madsen and Dr. Soto have an easy affability with each other, though they are so starkly different, just like Kirk and Spock. Meanwhile, Detective Madsen and Hauser have loud disagreements with each other, to the point of yelling, which sounds like Kirk and McCoy. And while Spock and McCoy would make snide remarks to each other, so far Dr. Soto and Hauser have made snide remarks about each other, to Madsen.

If the writers of Alcatraz know what’s good for them they’ll keep up these interactions, and add snide remarks between Dr. Soto and Hauser, every week. Do you see this, Mr. Abrams? I can improve your show. No fee too big.

Best Novel of 2011

2012-01-25T07:55:00.000-08:00

Over at the Should Be Reading blog, MizB is having her WWW Wednesday meme. I’ll use this as an excuse to post on the best novel of 2011: The Shadow Reader, by Sandy Williams.

McKenzie has been loyally aiding the forces of the king of the fae during their civil war, but is forced through a fissure into their Realm by Aren, a leader of the rebels. The fae, who are human-size and use swords rather than technology for their battles, can fissure at will around their Realm and even into our world, and McKenzie is the key to this war: She can read the shadows left by the vanished fissures, pinpointing their destinations. Her ability gives an extreme advantage for the forces of the king, since they can pursue with superior forces the rebel fae who fissure away.

Kept a prisoner and at risk of her life unless she helps the rebels, McKenzie is forced to hear Aren’s view: The king’s forces are oppressors, militarily and economically. They’ve lied to her. Manipulated her. Made her think she was helping the good guys. But the rebels are the right side. They even teach her their fae language, which the king’s forces never did, so she can listen to their discussions and decide for herself.

McKenzie becomes confused and wonders if she’s suffering from Stockholm syndrome. It doesn’t help that Aren, though smirky, is a compelling masculine presence. After all, he keeps the other rebels from killing her, and he teaches her things about their side she never knew before. But she longs for Kyol, the king’s swordbearer, who has been at her side and protected her for ten years during this war. She and Kyol are in love, but can never reveal their forbidden affection—forbidden by the king, not by the rebel forces. McKenzie must choose. Which side is right? Which man really cares for her?

The Shadow Reader does not give easy answers for McKenzie. A simpler story would have her saying, “Okay, I’ll abandon everything I’ve known and join your side” in the first thirty pages. The rebels are threatening to kill her, but the king’s forces never taught her their language. Both sides commit war crimes. Is Aren lying to her? Has Kyol been manipulating her? And McKenzie is no shrinking violet. Her escape attempts are believable. (Finally, a kidnapped female who doesn’t just sit on her hands!) I highly recommend this one.

(Note: This book has a beautiful cover, but the main character does not carry a sword. Also, she has brown hair, not the more exotic blondish-brownish that’s shown. And there’s no indication she’s built like this cover model. But other than that, it’s just like her!)

My honorable mention goes to Dying Bites, by D.D. Barant.

FBI profiler Jace Valchek finds herself in an alternate dimension, where the vampires, werewolves, and golems have won, and humans are less than one percent of the population. So why should she help them solve a murder? See my full review of this novel.

Acropolis = Temple of Virginity

2012-01-23T17:03:00.000-08:00

YESSIRREE! Now for a limited time, you can rent the Acropolis in Athens for the social event of your choice: Soirees, your daughter’s graduation, a little pick-up game of hoops. For just 1,600 euros (whatever that is), you can rent the Acropolis, the Theatre of Dionysus, or the Olympic Stadium for your night out. How can they do this? VOLUME!

As the U.K. Daily Mail notes, Greece is so cash-strapped, they are seriously going to rent out some of their ancient sites. Don’t ask the archaeologists what they think of this. And considering the euro is about to tank, you might want to lock in your reservation now, then pay with euros that aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

I’ll use this as an excuse to post another excerpt from my historical fantasy, Virgin Unknown. Orestes and Pylades are entering the Parthenon (the name comes from the Greek word for virginity.)

The tall double doors swung outward, and Orestes could not see what made them open.

He and Pylades walked into the Temple of Virginity. They went past bowls of smoldering incense, wafting contrasting scents of juniper and coriander into the air. Orestes could tell from the motion of shadows cast on the floor that the double doors were now closing behind them. He didn’t look back because of the incredible sight before him, lit from lamps in wall sconces and sunlight coming through openings near the ceiling.

Usually, an image of an Olympian or some other immortal would be shorter than a person. Once in a while, an ambitious artisan would make one life-size. But this image of Athena surpassed any sculpture he had seen before: A statue more than five times the height of a man -- six, counting the top of her helm. The robes of the statue were made of gold, and through the cunning work of the artisan resembled the folds of a garment draped over a woman’s body. Even more cunning was the use of ivory to look like flesh for the exposed parts of the head, throat, and arms. One arm held a shield at her side. The other was outstretched.

This was a wonder that took Orestes’ breath away. “Never, never have I seen such a thing.”

A woman stepped out from behind the statue. She was wearing leather armor and had shorter hair than most women. “Hello, Orestes.” She moved like an athlete. “I am Pallas Athena.”

Know Your Snow

2012-01-19T17:04:00.000-08:00

View from my window

Layers formed from snow, then freezing rain, then snow.

My last blog described the snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today, the rain was supposed to wash it away, but it became dangerous instead.

When I went out to my car this morning, I heard the most unusual sound—hissing, but intermittent. I realized freezing rain was hitting the snow.

I mentioned it to someone at work, who had heard the same thing. She replied, “Like bacon sizzling?”

That’s the best comparison. When you hear this sound on a snowy day, it’s dangerous. A glaze of ice formed on our roads.

It’s still snowing.

Snow

2012-01-18T15:02:00.000-08:00

A few inches of snow came down rapidly in the Seattle area.

Don’t you like nature in its pristine form?

This was on a neighboring tree. I guess some people need their caffeine fix, no matter how cold out.

It's predicted to wash away on Thursday. Will it?

Battlestar Galactica Exhibit II

2012-01-16T17:35:00.000-08:00

As I said in my previous post on the Battlestar Galactica Exhibit at the Seattle Science Fiction Museum, here are more pictures I snapped of actual props used in the series.

What’s this approaching you out of a starfield?

It’s a Cylon Raider—their equivalent of a jet fighter. You can see part of its right wing sweeping upward. Like the previous exhibits, this is life-size, several feet across.

Here’s a different close-up. (It’s unavoidable to include the scaffolding and the lit rope-line in this shot.) Sometimes during the exhibit, they turn on the moving red dot that resembles an eye, complete with vibrating sound effect. Kind of eerie.

Below is a model of the Battlestar Galactica itself. It’s true they often used CGI for the Galactica, but they also had this mock-up.

A close up shows the name Galactica on the starboard flight pod. Note the incredible level of detail.

Another picture as it heads away from us.

I’ll let you decide if this was a life-size model.

I’ll have another post sometime in the future with contrasting views of the feminine in Galactica.

Delusion of Grandeur

2012-01-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

I managed to fool myself, using the interactive nature of the internet. Earlier today I was doing a little research and googled “Battlestar Galactica.” I was astounded by the result.

Me? I’m the top search result? The photo from my recent blog entry on my visit to the Seattle Science Fiction Museum? I try again, and there I am—on top.

I e-mail several friends, telling them to search those words on Google, and they’ll see me. Next, I’ll e-mail my writing contacts, and tell them of this . . . this . . .

Wait. This can’t be right. Of all the millions of people who search for those words, why would they look at my image the most?

Taking a bite of humble pie, I use a different sign-on. Nothing. I’m nowhere in sight.

Of course. I use Google Chrome as my Web browser. I have my blog linked to my Google sign-on. When I search in Google for something, it detects who I am, then obediently brings up results relevant to me. Including
. . . me.

I e-mail my friends about the false alarm. I’m back to being your humble blogger.

But it’s not over. On Monday I’ll post more pics from the Battlestar Galactica Exhibit. This is like Linus at the end of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Just wait’ll next time.

Waiting on Wednesday: Alien Diplomacy

2012-01-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly meme on the Breaking the Spine blog. We each give a pre-publication description of an upcoming book we’re looking forward to reading.

Mine is Alien Diplomacy by Gini Koch.

This will be the fourth in her suburban fantasy/science fiction series. By this point, the female protagonist is married and has a baby. I’m curious on how Gini Koch will portray a woman who is a wife, mother, and action figure.

Why does she have an alien for a husband? Many agents and editors are looking for something fresh, beyond the vampires and werewolves.

Battlestar Galactica Exhibit I

2012-01-08T20:19:00.000-08:00

Your humble blogger

The Experience Music Project Museum in Seattle also contains a Science Fiction Museum. Currently, they have the Battlestar Galactica Exhibit, including actual props from the series.

Below is the Viper that Starbuck used. Imagine it coming right at you.

A different view shows the mannequin beside it modeling a Viper pilot’s uniform. Yes, this Viper model is life-size, and the actors could climb into the cockpit.

A close-up of the same view. Notice the realism—not only the mechanical parts inside with a service cover off, but the burnt scarring on the hull. The gun is attached to the wing, between the open service cover and the mannequin.

Below is Lee Adama’s Viper. Again, it’s life-size. Notice the scarring on it, the stenciled words to remind the pilot not to step on the wing while climbing in, and his call sign of Apollo by the cockpit. Pretty cool, huh?

I’ll show more photos on some future posts. This was a fun trip to a museum.

Ashley comforts Dr. Ogilvy

2012-01-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

This excerpt is from my War of the Worlds mashup. No action here, more of a character study. Dr. Ogilvy has to swallow some humble pie when he realizes a cylinder from Mars has life inside, then Ashley tells him to buck up. Don’t worry, I don’t use ten-dollar words like “cockalorum” often.

“And I knew it was from some intelligence inside, perhaps men like ourselves, trying to get out. They were suffocating, perhaps burning to death inside this vehicle of theirs.”

And then I understood his hesitancy at my inquiring about it being fired here, and at his account of being unable to approach because of the heat. Dr. Ogilvy had been of the most stalwart opinion on the non-existence of any intelligent life, of any civilization on Mars. He had even made sport of the American astronomer Percival Lowell, who had tried to document the opposite opinion. Now in the space of less than a day, he not only had to reverse himself, but vigorously move forward the very notion he had opposed. Dr. Stent was now looking down at him with open approval, and I realized what I had taken as reproof was actually praise for a man able to act on his improved convictions, no matter if it made him look crazy.

Dr. Ogilvy could not register such praise. “The folly of a learned man too stuck in his ways.” His voice went down to a mutter as he turned his head aside. “It was vaingloriness on my part, to act the part of a cockalorum.”

“I won’t have it, Doctor.” I made my hand into a fist of encouragement. “You have a great store of learning, and to suddenly direct it in a completely different direction with such rapidity shows a nimbleness that many lesser men would attempt with the greatest difficulty, if they could persuade themselves to welcome such new truths at all. You so fill your role as a scientist that I believe you give Dr. Stent up there a run for the title of Astronomer Royal.”

“Thank you, my dear.” His voice regained its confidence as he resumed his studied gaze—seemingly able to stare through any solid object in the way of his mind’s inquiries.

The actual Horsell Common, where H.G. Wells

had the first cylinder from Mars land

Formatting Your Manuscript

2012-01-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

Vickie Motter, an agent who gives generous advice on her blog, has a page on what’s cutting edge in manuscript formatting. It turns out that most agents and editors will read your manuscript on their portable devices. So what, you ask? For one thing, those devices don’t recognize the Tab key. Your paragraphs will look like they have no indentations.

How do you fix this and other details? Look at her blog.

Best Movies of 2011

2011-12-29T14:59:00.000-08:00

Best Movie: Source Code

Source Code is science fiction on a human scale, the likes of which we haven’t had since Gattaca. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Colter Stevens, a man who has to go back in time to discover who bombed a train. He wants to find a way to go off mission to save a woman he meets on the train, but he has to deal with his own internal struggle before he can do either. Read my full review of this fusion of science fiction and romance.

Honorable Mention: Battle: Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles is entirely from the point of view of Marines who have to fight off an alien invasion. They experience the fog of war as they endure vicious urban street fighting to rescue civilians whom they’ve never met and with whom they have no personal connection. To read more about this movie that authentically shows the Marine culture seamlessly blended with alien special effects, look at my full review.

Special Category—Best African-American actress goes to Charlize Theron, for her role in Young Adult (see my review). If you’re puzzled about her being an African-American, look up her bio.

Worst Movies of 2011

2011-12-26T16:42:00.000-08:00

Happy St. Stephen’s Day

This is a positive blog. If you’re an aspiring writer who wants an agent or editor to notice you, don’t flame people online. But so long as I do it in an amusing way, I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about the two worst movies I saw in 2011.

Melancholia

1. Kirsten Dunst plays a depressed person.

2. She appears topless a couple times for no particular reason.

3. She feels better when she finds out the world is about to end.

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Basically, there are three elements to the movie:

1. One part total crass ignorance about space. (For instance, Pink Floyd might have referred to the dark side of the moon as a figure of speech, but the people who made the movie acted like it was a physical reality.)

2. One part Victoria’s Secrets ad. The model (she’s not really an actress) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley said in an interview that she asked the director Michael Bay that wasn’t it odd she appears in high heels throughout the movie. She says he replied that naw, it was okay.

3. And to be fair, one part cool special effects.

That’s it for those two. Hopefully my next post will be on the best movies of 2011.

"Happy Feet Two" Stomps on "Young Adult"

2011-12-23T17:34:00.000-08:00

If you want more cheery fare than my review of the movie Young Adult, Brooke Busse on her blog reviews the movie Happy Feet Two.

Happy Feet Two isn't really my speed, but it had almost twice the gross in its opening weekend than Young Adult. So between these reviews you might find a movie that suits you.

Teaser Tuesday Again

2011-12-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

Teaser Tuesdays is a meme hosted by the Should Be Reading blog. We’re to grab a novel we’re currently reading, open to a random page, then paste two random sentences. (Unless they contain spoilers, since that would be too random.)

I’m currently going over The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells since I’m doing a mashup, and you can read excerpts from it here and here. But now for two sentences by H.G. in the original:

“I crawled out almost immediately, and crouched, my feet still in the water, under a clump of furze. The horse lay motionless (his neck was broken, poor brute!) and by the lightning flashes I saw the black bulk of the overturned dog cart and the silhouette of the wheel still spinning slowly.”

Sorry, horse lovers, but I’ll include the death of the horse from the original. Just remember that it’s the mean old Martians who cause it. And reputedly, The War of the Worlds was the first book to coin the term “Martian” for an inhabitant of Mars.

Movie Review: Young Adult

2011-12-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

Young Adult has a double meaning: The main character, Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), is the author (not a writer!) of young adult novels. She wakes up by drinking a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, then works in an on-again off-again way on her latest novel while ignoring deadline calls from her publisher. But she’s also someone who has never matured beyond her self-absorbed teen years. Her apartment looks like a teenager’s room, and she hasn’t gotten beyond her prom queen/screw the guys in the back of the school attitude.

Her career and her immature life collide when she receives a baby announcement from her high school sweetheart and his wife. She somehow assumes she can live like the teen heroine of one of her novels and just swoop back into the small town of her youth and pluck her ex-boyfriend out of there. When fellow grad Matt (Patton Oswalt) points out the ex is married and has a baby, Mavis shrugs it off by saying, “We all have baggage.”

But yes, her ex-boyfriend Buddy (Patrick Wilson) is obviously a good husband and a good father. And his wife is nice to Mavis. In fact, almost everyone in the small town is nice to her or impressed by her accomplishments. Mavis is actually only moderately successful—she lives in Minneapolis, not New York or Los Angeles, and she is essentially a ghost writer for the famous author who started the young adult series she writes for. But in her mind, she is an exalted giant compared to these nothing people in this small town. Soon, Buddy will realize she’s here to rescue him, and he’ll abandon his wife and child for her.

Young Adult is an uncompromising sort of comedy. Don’t look for any cathartic scene to resolve Mavis’ insecurities. In fact, the more she talks about her feelings, the more self-centered she gets. She transforms every friendly gesture from Buddy into an absurdist sign that her romantic flight of fancy is working. It’s as fascinating as a car skidding into a wreck, a car driven by that prom queen you always hated.

Okay, raise your hand if you recognize yourself in this movie. Did I say “yourself”? I meant your roommate, or someone whose blog you like. The person who never grew up, and who looks back to high school for his/her glory days is a painful reality. These people are blights on our society, dried-up leaves that clog our parties, raging waves that dash against their peers who have grown up and moved on. But they sure write interesting novels.

They try hard to make Charlize Theron look dowdy in some scenes, moping around in gray sweats or baggy blue jeans, but you can still see what an impressive woman she is. And she is completely believable as the moderately successful person consumed not so much with her importance, but just with herself. Every dead look of hers at the accomplishments of others and every sneer tossed at her ex-boyfriend’s wife defines her as the self-absorbed. Everyone else provides fair to good performances, but Theron is the one who carries the movie on her ivory shoulders.

Young Adult is not for everyone. It’s not a hilarious comedy; the audience alternates between making disgusted sounds and laughing at the oh-no-she-didn’t-say-that lines. But I think it would have a wider appeal if it didn’t have the admirably literary title. If it had been called The Anti-Wife, more women would “get” it and want to see it. So that last sentence shows I can already spin things in a Hollywood way.

P.S. For me, the movie contained some horror elements. No, the genre is not horror, and the movie is very mainstream. But I’ve never seen pedicures and manicures close up before. The horror.

The Gears

2011-12-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

In this excerpt from my War of the Worlds mashup, the main character is wearing her elaborate petticoat while contemplating the gears of an observatory.

Huge, monstrous gears. Some larger than my head.

Because of the fancifulness of my attire, I kept a few steps back from the half-gears that seemed to emerge from the floor with the same alarming appearance as the undulating scales of a sea serpent passing some trans-Atlantic liner. And just as the bulk of such a mythical creature would be below the water, so the main part of the mechanism was beneath the floor, the unseen machinations giving the slightest tremor through my walking boots.

“Observe, my dear.” My husband sidled up to me, using his lecturing voice—he had recovered his breath from climbing the steps to the observatory, which he had found trying. “The sidereal drive shifts the telescope in a continual motion to compensate for the Earth’s rotation, otherwise the moon would soon slip out of the telescope’s view.”

Unfortunately, my beloved husband had placed his hand on the middle of my back—beneath the hidden wings—to encourage me to step closer to the clinking sprockets. I nodded my head down, to indicate lacey bows would not be a fit companion to the hungry gears.

He continued. “While the lunar drive compensates for the motion of the moon itself around the Earth. Have I got that right, Ogilvy?” A different set of gears clicked more slowly—I couldn’t help but notice, since his hand continued to provide a loving, but inexorable pressure. Now I was close enough to smell the oily lubrication of the gears.

Teaser Tuesdays

2011-12-13T17:59:00.000-08:00

The should be reading website is holding their Teaser Tuesdays meme.

The challenge is to randomly open to a page on whatever you’re currently reading and post two sentences from it. (And naturally, no spoilers.)

My current read is The Shadow Reader, by Sandy Williams.

“None of the fae stops me as I walk forward, but hands move toward sword hilts. Worry is etched on some of their faces.”

Just to note: These are not cute, harmless fairies. Their hands are moving toward their swords because they find the human narrator a threat and are thinking of killing her.

Grimm

2011-12-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

Grimm is a show you should be watching. The main character Nick (David Giuntoli) is a descendant of the Brothers Grimm. He discovers in the first episode he can see things others can’t—the true nature of the fairy tale monsters around him. As most of you know, the old fairy tales were not cute tales for kids; they were strange tales on the edge of reality, and they often had horror elements.

The first episode features a wolfish serial killer who kidnaps a child—so no, this is not a show for your children to watch. Nick has to team up with a Blutbad (Silas Weir Mitchell)—a reformed big bad—to have any chance of solving this one. Other episodes start with a bus passenger dying from a massive dose of bee toxin, and a woman fleeing from a pursuer whom she’s oddly in love with. Nick has to use his savvy detective skills, augmented with the Grimm lore and the help of the big bad to solve these supernatural crimes. If you want to see crime fought with GPS devices and a Blutbad’s nose, as well as handguns and scythes, Grimm is the show for you.

David Giuntoli does a great job as the man completely puzzled by the fate that’s been handed him. (He also gives off a Superman vibe, as the polite good guy.) And Silas Weir Mitchell is hysterical as the reformed big bad who drinks espresso and gets irritated when his pilates sessions are interrupted.

Currently, Grimm is on Friday nights at 9:00 on NBC, although with all the Christmas programming going on, it might end up getting preempted as soon as I recommend it. And yes, that time slot puts it up against Supernatural and Fringe, but so far it’s holding its own.

Dept. of Homeland Security Warning

2011-12-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

This is a little late, but the Dept. of Homeland Security issued this warning tweet:

@DHSgovHomeland Security

How dangerous can turkey fryers be?

Citizens, make sure your unit does not catch on fire!

(Seriously, can you believe they get paid for this?)

D'Abo Sizes Up Nakajima

2011-12-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

In my previous post, I had Nakajima size up D’Abo, from my science fiction manuscript Day 10K. In this one, D’Abo, a senior lieutenant who’s over 40 and seen it all, sizes up the young Ensign Nakajima.

Ensign's Insignia

. . . the floor of the bridge looked like a cluster bomb packed with handrails, auxiliary consoles, and vertical power cables had gone off, then left as is. In the midst of it all, Nakajima had stationed himself at the captain’s shoulder, as if he belonged there.

Tall for a Japanese person, Nakajima was nimble on his feet. Unlike Mannheim, who stared in disbelief when whipsawed, or other junior officers who protested when jerked around, Nakajima would project an air of calm, as if he already knew how an officer should react in every situation.

He almost got away with it.

His narrow face would show the tight lips of disdain when told to not be so by-the-book when a situation was fluid. That, his obvious intelligence, and something about one of his parents having been in the Fleet, all pointed to a certain type of attitude: The senior officers did not measure up to his freshly-minted standards.

Nakajima Sizes Up D'Abo

2011-12-01T19:17:00.000-08:00

In this post and the next I'm going to show a neat technique with regard to characters. After they've interacted for a couple chapters, have them size each other up, the way I do in my science fiction manuscript, Day 10K. Below we have Nakajima, an idealistic ensign fresh out of the Academy. He's being reamed out by D'Abo, a senior lieutenant about twice his age. Keep in mind, these are both good guys.

Lieutenant's Insignia

D’Abo turned and looked up at him. “As for you, Nakajima.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Did someone die and make you admiral? You do not interrupt the captain. You do not contradict the captain. You can send your cute little messages questioning his orders, but don’t let that make you think you’re going to discuss ship’s policy over a cup of hot vanilla with him! Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nakajima observed her. Lieutenant Gwen D’Abo was the most puzzling officer on the ship. She was a mustang -- having signed onto the Fleet as ordinary crew, then working her way up through officer recommendations, online courses, and tests administered in the field to become an officer herself. She was living proof the process produced a different kind of officer, compared to the rigorous training of the Academy -- which was an almost scientific procedure for transforming cadets into a finished product. D’Abo evidenced a casual attitude towards her duties, which never seemed to get her on the captain’s list. On the other hand she socialized more with the enlisted crew and junior officers and was more sympathetic than an imperious officer like Grayhawk. But D’Abo could also suddenly turn rigid or even outraged when a line was crossed. Puzzling.

Mythological Mondays

2011-11-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

Bonnie at A Backwards Story is hosting Mythological Mondays. Instead of a book review, I'm doing a FAQ list.

Regarding Helen of Troy, did you know:

1) The ancient Greeks never called her “Helen of Troy.” She was commonly called “Helen of Argos.” Since argos was their word for gold, this probably meant “Helen the golden.” Presumably she had light hair and golden skin.

2) The Greeks piled up story after story onto the original account. One scholar said if you added up all these stories, Helen would have been sixty-five by the time she arrives at Troy.

3) The oldest accounts of Helen are in The Iliad and The Odyssey. At the very end of The Odyssey, Homer reveals that Helen was tricked into boarding the ship headed for Troy. In other words, the oldest account has Helen going to Troy against her will, instead of pursuing young love.

4) Helen and her husband Menelaus (in Greece) had a daughter, Hermione. Yes, Harry Potter fans, that’s where the name comes from.

Athena and Perseus Flying

2011-11-26T19:30:00.000-08:00

Instead of the current novel I'm working on, here's an excerpt from one of my Athena stories.

They flew along the southern coast of the mainland, the morning air still cool. Perseus’ weight was no bother for Athena, but he was still so amazed at soaring between earth and sky that he kept moving around, trying to find different views.

“Keep still. I’m not a couch.” She tried to sound authoritative, but the words came out annoyed as she spoke against the wind. “It’s bad enough how the air flows because of you—and the flow past your head differs from the drag against your legs. I have to keep adjusting when you squirm like a baby.”

“I don’t enjoy being coddled.” Perseus’ voice came out low and firm—no fear of falling into the sea below them at all. “No disrespect, great Athena, but is there some other way I can be carried?”

The other way would be on her back. Somehow, the idea of him on top of her made Athena uncomfortable. “You’ve squirmed enough! I’ll have to change how I carry you.”

She tossed him upward, just a hand’s span. She managed to catch him in a way that was more comfortable for carrying.

Perseus’ eyes were as wide as robin eggs. Then he clenched his jaw muscles to control himself, though she had just treated him like a sack of wheat carried to a threshing floor. But in this case, the threshing floor was the blue water below. He sounded unimpressed. “I have had worse tosses by horses.”

“Any horse do this?” Athena threw him completely out of her arms.

Waiting on Wednesday

2011-11-23T09:25:00.000-08:00

Jill, on her Breakingthe Spine blog, hosts her weekly “Waiting On” Wednesday, where bloggers are invited to post what book they’re waiting to be released, and why.

Mine is The Taken by Vicki Pettersson. It’s apparently a noir paranormal detective novel.

I don’t know much about it yet, but that subgenre appeals to me. And Vicki has been very helpful, giving me advice at the Surrey Writers’ Conference in Surrey, British Columbia two years in a row. She’s a New York Times bestselling author, and she took the time to give me good advice. Thank you Vicki, and I’m looking forward to reading this.

War of the Worlds Mashup

2011-11-22T19:29:00.000-08:00

In a previous post, I said I had to decide between doing a contemporary mermaid story or a mashup of The War of the Worlds. This very early draft should show you which I chose.

Yet across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. As men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.

“Dah! You would have to mention microscopic bugs.” Violet splayed her elbows and rested her head back on her hands. This side of the roof kept them away from prying eyes, so she took full advantage, wearing only her sleeveless chemise and a mini-petticoat as she moonbathed. Already, her arms and legs looked visibly whiter. “Fire and destruction I can handle, but microbes? Ech!”

The night’s moonbathing session held no urgency for Ashley, so she kept her husband’s smoking jacket on over her own chemise and full-length petticoat. The jacket was bulky, but certainly easier to climb up from the deck in than if she were confined in the flounces and stays of a proper dress. “Don’t you want to put something on?”

Her friend threw Ashley a smirk. “Perhaps I’ll lay out on the other side of the roof and cry, ‘Hey-ho for a husband.’”

“Violet, you shock me.” Ashley pointed the quill at her in a play at reproval, but felt her rear end shift on the tile as she did so. She planted her feet more firmly on the roof to scoot herself back, but made the fatal error of gripping the round glass inkwell and flipping the brass lid shut as a precaution – she wouldn’t forgive herself an accidental spill. But that distraction made her misjudge the friction of her bare soles against the shingles. Her feet shot out, and she went sliding down the roof.

Falling to the deck from here would be unpleasant. If she didn’t have the smoking jacket on, it wouldn’t be encumbering her wings. Even now, they struggled to unfurl through the dual slits in the back of her chemise, but could not expand. And yet, she could have done no other. Even on this unobserved side of the roof, she couldn’t dress in as bare a fashion as Violet. Ashley was a married woman, and the respectability that entailed mandated a non-negotiable level of modesty, and practical reality was expected to bend itself to accommodate this.

No Record

2011-11-18T19:27:00.000-08:00

Since I'm going to occasionally teach the Jr./Sr. High Sunday school at my church, I had to get a background check.

As you can see, it shows I have no record.

Anyone who will work with minors at the church has to get a background check. Kind of a different world we're living in.

Next Project

2011-11-16T21:22:00.000-08:00

For my next writing project, I’m torn between two choices:

I could write an urban fantasy story that revolves around a guy in an office being harassed by a mermaid. This would be the sort of mermaid who looks like a normal human being, unless she’s immersed in water. As aspiring writers should know, having just one good idea is not enough to make a novel-length story. At least two strong ideas should collide with each other. So I have the concept of a slightly alternate society in which it’s no big deal to have a mermaid working in the office, and I combine that with the idea of a nice guy being sexually harassed by her and having little recourse, since he’s a white male in a society afflicted by political correctness.

Editors and agents say they want to see urban fantasies that don’t have vampires or werewolves. And sexual harassment is a perennial subject, and it’s interesting for a man to be harassed, to comment on a political correctness that many now acknowledge has run amuck.

The other choice is to write a mashup of The War of the Worlds. The art of the mashup is to take some fantasy or horror concept and mash it into some beloved pre-copyright work. The most famous example is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Most of the novel is still Jane Austen’s novel, with scenes of zombie attacks added. The concept has expanded a little so that the older story doesn’t have to be an actual book. And so we have the novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, with the movie version soon to be released.

A mashup of The War of the Worlds has already been done, adding more horror elements. I would go in the other direction, adding a lighthearted element I won’t reveal yet. The advantage of writing a mashup is that with the coming movie, there may be a demand for more in this mixed-up genre.

Of course, it’s not a good idea for an aspiring novelist to choose a genre or subgenre just because of what’s hot or may about to become hot. It’s best to write what one really wants to write and hope that catches the public’s fancy. I’ll announce my decision soon.

Google Me!

2011-11-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

Now, before it goes away . . . .

If you google the term "Issaquah Salmon Days" you will find my blog entry on that festival listed as their fourth entry. The official Salmon Days website is listed below it, as the fifth entry.

Either my blog is really popular, or Google is messed up.

Of course, if you click on my entry in Google, that could make it even more popular. But I don't want to be accused of manipulating Google. Do I?

Do a Barrel Roll

2011-11-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

If you go to The Wall Street Journal's digit blog, you can install a bookmark that lets you "barrel roll" a website.

The funniest effects are on sites that have an embedded video near the top, such as these entries on my blog:

Rat City Rollergirls on the Viaduct

Daniel Radcliffe Sings the Periodic Table

Toughen Your Kids

Yes, cheap thrills every week.

Bespelling Jane Austen

2011-11-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

Not your grandmother’s Harlequin.

Writers (or an aspiring writer like myself) are constantly advised to read outside our genres, to get a broader literary experience to help our writing. I’ve tried to read Jane Austen’s works, but I tire after the first few pages, when some puzzling Lady Dunsbury appears, and it turns out to be Hilda’s sister-in-law from a couple pages before. It’s just not worth the effort.

But now I’m reading Bespelling Jane Austen, a collection of four novellas. I’m going through them out of order, but I’ll tell you what, Colleen Gleason’s Northanger Castle is eminently readable, with sufficient period detail to give the feel of a leaner, meaner, Austen-ish kind of tale.

Those of you Austen-philes can guess this story is about a young woman who reads trashy novels and tends to fantasize melodramatic backgrounds for the people around her. At Bath, she picks out a man with dark eyes and fair skin. “If he were indeed a vampire, she must take care not to look directly at him. According to what she’d learned, the undead were known for being able to enthrall a mortal being with their eyes alone.”

The twist with these reimaginings is such suspicions might be true. This was well worth the price for Colleen Gleason’s story alone.

Mountain Bike vs. Antelope

2011-11-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

This happened in Australia.

I can imagine the antelope saying, "Oi! This is for me cousin you ran over last week!"

Or share your own caption.

Review of Anonymous

2011-10-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

Who really wrote the plays, sonnets, and poems attributed to William Shakespeare? That question takes us on a romp through the lush world of Elizabethan intrigue, with machinations for the throne, murder and fire and riots, and lots of illegitimate sons. In a time when it was unseemly for a member of the royal court to write something as vulgar as plays, Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford arranges for his plays to be performed without his name appearing anywhere near them. The semi-literate actor William Shakespeare brashly takes credit for them, earning him false acclaim while de Vere delights in seeing how the crowds adore his words.

But the plays contain more than merriment. Between the lines one can see bold criticism of the Cecils, that family which holds undue influence on Queen Elizabeth. Are the plays the thing to stop their scheming, even on the matter of who will reign as king when Elizabeth passes?

This is a masterful roller-coaster ride that fans of the Elizabethan period will have to view more than once to tease out all the conspiracies and complex relationships. The period detail is impressive: The muddy streets of London, the elaborate frocks worn by both men and women, the in-your-face ways actors interacted with audiences who stood at the very edge of the stage. A disadvantage is a love scene involving the young Elizabeth that many will find offensive. But Anonymous features outstanding performances, my favorite being Sebastian Armesto as Ben Johnson. And de Vere has that noteworthy line, "All authors have something to say, otherwise they'd make shoes."

If you want to follow the Oxfordian theory of Shakespearean authorship, listen carefully to what Derek Jacobi says at the beginning and end of the movie, and realize that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Rat City Rollergirls on the Viaduct

2011-10-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

A local roller derby team, the Rat City Rollergirls, won a contest to skate on part of a major raised Seattle roadway, the Alaskan Way Viaduct, before it was torn down.

Of course, I’m going to use this entry for a little self-promotion. The following is a quote from my vampire satire:

“The vampires back then were organized around their queen. When the queen was stabbed to death, her followers were so disheartened, they were slaughtered on the old Alaskan Way Viaduct and thrown down onto the streets of Seattle.”

Pan vs. Vampire

2011-10-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from my vampire satire, which a friend is currently proofreading. The main character’s brother Jeremy, who does not believe in vampires, is talking to the main character’s best friend, Hope.

“Since you don’t consider my sister to be crazy, I guess --” Jeremy jerked his head quickly to the side, as if imitating a shell-shocked person. But then he pointed. “Someone’s in your backyard.”

Hope jerked her own head. “No!”

It was him all right—the vamp who had threatened to kill her children. His back was towards them and he was hunched over, sneaking away from the house towards the fence. She heard screaming, and realized it was her own voice. “IT’S HIM! IT’S ONE OF THEM!”

Hope pawed at a couple of the dangling pans, but failed to unhook either of them. Jeremy grabbed one and lit out the back sliding door. Hope dashed in the opposite direction—out the front.

She jerked the SUV door open and saw the twins were okay. She practically jumped on Abel and Seth, cuddling them together. Then she used the danger word: “Hannibal.”

They stopped squirming under her embrace and became alert. Abel frowned in puzzlement. “Mom! Do we run away?”

“No, stay here with me.”

Long moments passed. The twins breathed loudly, but they held their little bodies still, just as they had been taught to do when hiding from a dangerous situation.

_________________________

I guess this is where I say you’ll have to read the published novel to find out what happens.

Review of The Thing

2011-10-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

An american scientist named Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) joins a Norwegian team in Antarctica who have discovered some Thing, frozen in ice. To their astonishment, this creature evidently crawled out of an alien spacecraft that was downed and equally frozen ages ago. After excavating the Thing intact in a block of ice they haul it inside their station, then get drunk while celebrating down the hall.

When the creature gets out, it starts hunting down the Antarctic team, one by one. But Kate realizes the Thing can take them over from the inside, so any one of them might be this alien creature, waiting for an opportunity to ambush them or even reach the rest of the Earth's population, causing millions of deaths.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Let me reassure purists: This movie does not monkey around with your beloved John Carpenter's The Thing (1982). It's a prequel, setting up the conditions for the John Carpenter movie (and the fact that Kate joins a team of Norwegians should tip you off to this, if you're really boned up on the subject.) As for entertainment value, the superior special effects of this prequel make the gore and grotesquerie more explosive, if that’s what you’re looking for in a movie. And if you’ve ever been in a bar with drunk Norwegians, you won’t shed a tear for this group of Thing fodder.

The Thing 1982

I mainly saw The Thing because of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, since I was impressed with her roles as a mean girl in the Disney superhero movie Sky High and as the star of Final Destination 3. However, she wasn’t provided with much in the way of good dialogue. That’s why I missed the original 1951 version, The Thing from Another World.

The Thing 1951

In glorious black and white, they obviously didn’t have much of a budget for special effects. And they left out the part about the Thing taking over people’s bodies. But this version had masterfully creepy scenes with real tension. Also, I enjoyed the snappy dialogue, which might seem a little dated nowadays, but was vastly more entertaining than people just screaming as the Thing reveals itself.

And what is it with Antarctica? My last blog entry detailed the death of my dream of going there, now I end up seeing another movie about it.

Antarctica - The Dream Dies

2011-10-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve had this secret dream of traveling to Antarctica someday.

At a Worldcon, I heard a famous writer give a presentation on how he traveled to Antarctica as part of a writers program sponsored by the National Science Foundation. Believe it or not, the NSF actually gave grants for fiction and non-fiction writers to travel to the southern continent for research, with the understanding that they would write about Antarctica. The idea was to give publicity to that continent. (I don’t know if the program still exists.)

Some slots were kept open for relatively new writers, and so, this established writer said, it would make sense for some of us who were just starting out to apply.

How many adventure stories start this way? A rather ordinary person hears a tale of a faraway land, and it stirs his heart with dreams of exotic travel. That’s what happened to Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. I didn’t put any hard research into it; I recorded bits from science shows on TV about the frozen continent, and I watched Whiteout with Kate Beckinsale more than once. I would finally start to use Twitter, and I would tweat things like “Past the point of no return” from the plane that would fly me from South America down to McMurdo Base.

It was kind of like a western, but colder

But no more. A woman down at the Amundsen-Scott research station at the South Pole recently had a stroke. That base has no MRI or CT scanners. The company that manages the station through a contract with the NSF does not consider her condition to be life-threatening, so it will not send a rescue plane. Huh?

She had a STROKE. Read about it here. She has partial vision loss and spends part of her day with an oxygen device. You can only decide if the stroke is life-threatening by getting her scanned, so this is a catch-22 situation.

I’m relatively healthy. But I can just imagine something similar happening to me. Or perhaps I would get a compound fracture if I slip while looking for fossils (yes, dinosaur bones have been found down there). Of if you watch Whiteout, it’s no picnic if someone stabs you with an ice axe. (Come on, that wasn’t a spoiler. Kate Beckinsale is not going to go down there just to frolic.)

Going to Antarctica was a neat, if improbable, dream. Now the dream is gone. I won’t go there if that’s how they treat people.

Kevin Sorbo had Strokes?

2011-10-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Kevin Sorbo had three strokes while filming the series Hercules? It happened in 1997—blurry vision, dizziness, buzzing sensation. The series had to cover for him by bringing in guest stars. Read about it here.

I don’t remember if I watched any of the Hercules episodes. I mainly remember him as Captain Dylan Hunt of the Andromeda Ascendant.

His character of Dylan Hunt was fascinating. He leaves his Commonwealth when it’s a vibrant civilization, then returns in a future age after its collapse and sees chaos in the formerly united star systems. With a massively powerful spaceship, haphazard diplomatic skills, and the will to succeed, he slowly pieces together a civilization from the often hostile and provincial worlds he visits.

They had a good interplay of characters. Dylan Hunt’s burden makes him unique. Yes, he can use his ship to obliterate anyone who stands in his way, but he has to act diplomatically or it’s all for nothing. The humorous engineer Seamus Harper has no such burden, so he often says the equivalent of “blow them up” or “let’s get out of here.” (By the way, some animated Disney flicks let the humorous sidekick have too much fun, which skews the movie away from its main tension, since the sidekick does not have the same burden as the main character.) Tyr Anasazi essentially fills the Klingon slot. And of course there’s Andromeda herself, who fills the role of the loyal aide who is always there for him. (More on her in a future post.)

And it doesn’t hurt that Andromeda

was designed to look like this

But I’m very impressed with Kevin Sorbo’s perseverance. For a review of one his quieter movies on my old website, you can see it here.

Richelle Mead and Rachel Vincent

2011-10-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

(My encounter with professional writers,
in the form of story archetypes.)

Call to action: A herald in the form of a newspaper article stuns me by announcing Richelle Mead, an author who has attained the grail of the New York Times bestselling list (and someone who’s been very helpful to me over the years) will be speaking in a workshop as part of the Smart Chicks Kick It Tour.

Acceptance of call: I scout out the public park building where the meetings will take place. Woefully inadequate. An Inmost Chamber. I will gather my courage and attend.

Threshold puzzle: I arrive early. Seating for only forty in the audience. Not good. And ominous signs on either side of the stage hold this cryptic message:

Initial attempt: Over one hundred people crowd into the building. Through stealth and patience, I attain a seat with a good view of Richelle—kind of:

The Dreaded Corridor of Teenage Female Hair

Failure/renewed attempt: The guardian of the speakers (known as Moderator) announces we must not try to talk to the speakers at the end of the workshop, since they need to eat and attend to other mortal needs. Foiled.

But later on, the Melée known as Autograph Session will be held in the same Inmost Chamber. Only those who bear an offering known as a Book which Must be Signed can enter. Only those.

I buy one at a Fred Meyer. Seriously, some of those girls in line

had over a dozen books to get signed.

Ordeal: Many of us bearing our offerings gather at the end of the last workshop featuring other speakers. We await Autograph Session. The workshop ends. Moderator Guardian announces the line will form on the Ramp which is commonly adorned with this symbol:

The Melée begins. Many on the ramp want to leave, the rest of us want on. To ascend from the Inmost Chamber, I go up some cement steps while flanked by teenage girls. This is the scary time. (Seriously.) The Melée sorts itself out into a long line, with me and other pilgrims in the part that snakes outside the building.

Long ordeal, plus unexpected reward: Many pilgrims bear multiple Books which Must be Signed. (And can you make this one out to my friend Tiffany?) We shuffle with our offerings past the many authors. Richelle Mead is at the end. I accept bookmarks and other totems from the authors along the way. More shuffling. Live music from a hurdy-gurdy wafts over the scene.

Unexpectedly, I recognize one of the authors. Rachel Vincent, fairest of the fair among urban fantasy authors. She agrees to have a pic:

Climax: I finally reach Richelle Mead. I used to ask her questions at the local science fiction convention Norwescon, and she gave me helpful advice at the Surrey Writers’ Conference. All along the way as she’s ascended like a comet, she would recognize me when she sees me. She asks me how my writing is going, and I ask her some things about accountants and publishing. Richelle signs my book (which I will give to a co-worker’s daughter) and agrees to a pic:

Resolution: Seriously, I don’t mind buying a book in order to get some conversation (I know that my co-worker’s daughter will enjoy it), and it’s a good experience to go out and meet some people who are professionals in the business. It was a fun afternoon.

Issaquah Salmon Days 2011

2011-10-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

I went to the Issaquah Salmon Days today. The city of Issaquah has a fine salmon hatchery, and though people can gather around this time of year in general and watch the salmon returning from the Pacific, they tend to pick the first weekend of October for a street festival. You can shop at the crafts booths, eat incredibly calorie-rich treats at the food booths, watch obnoxious balloons with salmon motifs, or actually watch the salmon swimming up Issaquah Creek.

This crowded bridge offers the best view

The dark shapes are salmon fighting their way upstream
Mostly chinook this time of year, the coho come later

The salmon have a ladder they can use to gradually make their way to the hatchery, or they can try doing it the hard way.

I’m the fittest!

The fish ladder has large windows along the way, like an aquarium. This is an ideal way to show children what fish are really like, as opposed to their thinking of them as fish sticks on a tray.

Glass windows in the concrete

Beyond the boundary of the festival was the big salmon BBQ, which could easily be spotted by the cloud of smoke it was raising. The line looked so long, I had some beef on a stick from an uncrowded street booth instead. Then I went to the main food area and had a pork skewer with some fried rice and chow mein, then a gigantic strawberry crepe. Excessive? Naw.

My mileage there counts as research, since my vampire satire features a couple scenes at the festival. Look at the image below. Then, if my novel ever gets published, when you come across a certain scene it’ll seem familiar to you, and you won’t even know why.

Amazon Botox

2011-09-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Amazon.com is competing with Groupon in offering online coupons. I received one for botox, though I crossed the name of the clinic out before posting it here:

What do you think? Should I take them up on it?

Red Dot

2011-09-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from my science fiction manuscript, Day 10K. Ensign Nakajima is on a colony with only a twentieth-century level of technology. He has to juggle the headset that keeps him in contact with his ship, and the walkie over which a survivalist has threatened him. A teenage girl named Shushan has been his guide.

The voice from the ship became clipped in response to the survivalist’s threat. “Nakajima, we’ll have Mannheim covering you on the ground, the Marines have an ETA of forty minutes, and the beams will be online momentarily to cut down anything within twelve inches of you that makes a hostile move. Inform him.”

Nakajima took the opportunity to turn off the broadcast function of his headset, since the loudness would probably overwhelm the walkie-talkie and turn his voice into crackly distortion. He tightened his diaphragm to project --

A red dot flickered on the grass in front of him for half a second.

About a foot away. That was the guide laser, showing where one of the ship’s particle beam weapons could strike, all the way from the Andrapolis’ orbit above to a tuft of grass in front of Nakajima’s boots. If he were standing in the vacuum of an asteroid or on the hull of an enemy ship, it could hit within a fraction of an inch of him. But to allow for the vagaries of atmospheric interference with the beam, Beam Weapon Control must have been assigned a comparatively generous margin of twelve inches. The dot had been visible for his benefit; now it must be back in the infrared spectrum, to prevent other eyes from noticing.

Nakajima held the walkie slightly away from his face and projected his voice. “The fate of one ensign is little matter to the Fleet. But know this: Another officer on the ground is covering me, and our ship in orbit has weapons able to target accurately on the human scale.”

Shushan started moving. Yes. Walk away. Before he realized it, she had walked up beside him. She moved the white flag so she could still hold it, her arm against his, their sleeves brushing.

Nakajima froze. His peripheral vision picked up something on the top of her blonde hair, for half a second. Red dot.

Careful not to make a sudden move, he spoke into his headset. “Friendly.” A chill more icy than any glare from the captain hit his guts. For her to do this now—was she showing support? The thought that the beam weapon personnel above might have mistaken her move for a hostile—

“Good, Nakajima. Keep the girl there. Just don’t make it look like you’re using her as a human shield.” The words from the ship were so offensive, he had the irrational desire to throw his headset away.

Clock Dream (on Tuesday)

2011-09-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

I wake up at 5:30 when my alarm goes off. I allow myself to just lie there a few minutes.

When I next wake up, it's 6:50, which means I'll be late for work.

But when I go into the living room, I see a clock that shows it's 4:40, which means I woke up early and only imagined it was time to get up (which has happened before). Different clocks show either the 6:50 or 4:40 time.

I realize the two clocks that show 4:40 are both quartz -- I actually see the motion of the second hand on one of them as it ticks off each second. Since these would be the more accurate clocks, I go back to bed.

Then I wake up. That whole bit of looking at different clocks had been a dream when I dozed off for a few minutes after waking up at 5:30. The dream is over. Or is it?

Superluminal by Vonda N. McIntyre

2011-09-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

When I was much younger, a novella by the name of Transit appeared in Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, and it blew my mind. To go faster than light, a spaceship has to enter transit, and normal humans cannot survive that. Pilots need to have their hearts removed to prevent them from feeling any sense of time, then they can live and control the ship. The rest of the crew stays in a drugged sleep. But along comes a fellow named Radu who has this uncanny ability to know what time it is, no matter what planet he’s on, no matter when he wakes up. What would happen if he stayed awake during transit? If he survived, how would the pilots react to this possible threat to their livelihood?

Radu has no intention of having such radical effects on space travel. It’s just that during his enforced sleep in transit, he dreams that a pilot friend of his is in trouble. Such tragic dreams of his have come true before, with his friends dying in real life. His only ally is Orca, a woman genetically modified to be a swimmer—far stronger than a normal human, she can actually swim in Earth’s oceans unaided. But will the pilots listen to his concern for his pilot friend?

The novella Transit is now chapters 4 - 10 of the novel Superluminal. The first three chapters were originally a novella named Aztecs that had also been previously published. A few chapters have been added to the end to round out the novel. Either read the whole novel, or read only the middle chapters, but you can order it from Vonda M. McIntyre’s website, either as a hardback or an e-book.

Calendar by Nene Thomas

2011-09-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

I strongly recommend Nene Thomas’ fantasy calendar. She renders lovely fairy images with great depth and color.

Below is the back of my current (2011) calendar.

She has limited quantities of her 2012 calendar, so you might want to go to her site and order one, the way I did yesterday. Current price is $20.00. They ship by UPS, which might make it seem pricey, but it’s something truly different from what you can pick up at a mall.

The Crack of Doom (for paperbacks)

2011-09-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

Those of you who follow this blog know that I have been defending paperback books. To recap, a major publisher said e-books would replace mass-market paperbacks in five years, a major editor said it would be three to four years, and a major agent said it would happen “eventually.” (I liked that last answer much better.)

Last Saturday, I had to admit to one of my proofreaders that things are looking bad. The figures are in from the latest (September) issue of Locus -- the major trade journal for science fiction and fantasy publishing. As of June for all genres, year-to-date (YTD) sales for adult hardcovers were up, which is good during a recession. YTD trade paperback were up. YTD mass-market paperbacks were down 7.3%. E-books were up 207.4%.

Now the crack of doom has appeared: A Netflix model for e-books by Amazon.com:

________________________________

In another walk-up to the release of its hotly anticipated tablet device, Amazon is in talks with book publishers to launch a digital library for customers, the Wall Street Journal reported.

The service could allow users to gain unlimited access to older digital book content for a single, annual price . . . .

________________________________

Would you subscribe?

Vampire Parody Corrections

2011-09-10T15:28:00.000-07:00

I made some notes on things to correct as I reread my vampire parody. Here’s a glimpse. Most involve just adding a sentence here or modifying a paragraph there. I’ve hidden the last one, to prevent it becoming a spoiler.

Finished

2011-09-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today I finished my vampire parody. I had projected it to be 400 pages. It turned out to be 395.

When this sort of full-paged, double-spaced manuscript is turned into a typical paperback novel, it has about 25% less pages. So a manuscript like this may have about 300 pages as a paperback.

Much of the tone is light-hearted as I poke fun at some of tropes you see in typical urban fantasies. At one point, Dee (the main character) and her sister make fun of all the bare midriffs you can see on the covers in that sub-genre, saying “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll dress that way when I go get in a knife fight with some creature with fangs and claws.”

Another difference is that Dee is married and has children. I don’t know of any other heroine who starts out that way in these sorts of stories. This is my way of challenging the unwritten conventions that have developed already, though this newer, darker kind of urban fantasy has only dominated for a comparatively short amount of years. Dee does not lead an unattached, single life. She does not have any unusual strength or speed. But she gets a full head of steam on when she sees something threatening the kids. Wouldn’t you?

See my previous entry for how Dee talks about her husband in a family conversation. And of course, there are scenes of suspense and action. I posted one of them on this entry. You might notice there’s still time for a funny exchange in the face of danger.

None of this is meant to denigrate the sub-genre. Suburban fantasy authors are some of the most cutting-edge writers out there. But when you think about it, aren’t some parts of it kind of funny?

Attack Cluster

2011-08-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from my vampire parody. Dee, a stay-at-home mother, is a reluctant vampire slayer—for some reason, she attracts vampires who wander into the area. She’s discussing a cluster of vampire attacks with her sister by video chat over the computer.

Dee smiled into the camera. “You can pick your friend, you can’t pick your family, and you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

Alicia didn’t react. “Now, I am not questioning how wonderful your husband is, but—”

“You’re darn right you won’t! I sent Number One off with a kiss this morning because we agreed long ago my taking out these vampires was best for everyone. He wouldn’t have gone off if he hadn’t decided it was best for our family.”

“As I said, I’m not questioning that. All I’m saying is if my husband got a 911 text from me, he would hop in his truck and check his weapons as he sped—”

“No, you listen, Alicia.” Dee would take advice from her sister, but never even the most oblique questioning of her husband. “They don’t attack when a manly husband like mine or yours is around. Which means they’ll just bide their time for when my kids are in the yard and I’m distracted. Or they’ll attack single mothers in the neighborhood. So be it! Let them come to me.”

Alicia had her finger up again. “Dee, look—”

“No, I don’t want to hear that this is some zing-zang, I mean, ying-yang fatalism on my part. I can’t help it if God made me this way. This isn’t a passive approach, it’s an active approach to danger!”

Alicia was waving her hands now. “Dee, I saw a shadow move behind your head. Turn around and look behind you!”

150 Word Writing Contest

2011-08-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Literary agent Janet Reid held her PANIC writing contest at her website. We had to write a story in 150 words or less that contains several of the homonyms she listed. I chose the following:

rain/reign/rein

marshal/martial

slew/slough/slue

ore/or/oar

faux/foe

weather/wether

Here’s my story. How did I do?

__________________________

Rain. The fourteenth year of the reign of Great Timarchus, who slew the Ur-panther, and what do we have to show for it? Dishing around in this slough for yellow ore, when we should have been training the men in the ten martial disciplines, or at least marching.

Rain again. The wether wool of each man’s cape is soaked, useless. “Hey Pelius, give us an oar to walk through this rain, eh?” Pelius gets that funny look. He talks of planting faux ore, then watching Timarchus’ adjutant slue around like some clumsy mast.

The weather breaks. I look up. The lead regiment of our foe, the Tregidain, marches in. Of course. No regiments here. Just pans full of sodden pebbles. I approach their field marshall, arms limp. I gesture with the rein that should have led my bronze-armored steed.

“Here,” I say. “Hang Timarchus with it.”

Worldcon V -- Final Thoughts

2011-08-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

The convention was held at The Atlantis, Reno’s newest casino/hotel. The amenities of the hotel were nice, but it was difficult to navigate my way through the main floor to the front desk or restaurants, since that floor was a maze of gambling machines complete with flashing lights and noxious booping sounds. The place always had people gambling, even when I walked through at 7:30 in the morning!

The Atlantis modified their flier for us -- note the pointy ear

Many of the gamblers smoke like chimneys. I had planned on going to the sushi bar on their “sky terrace,” but it was glass-enclosed, not open-air. The cigarette smoke wafted up the staircase and escalator, which was not my idea of a pleasant eating experience (and they had their noxious gambling machines on the terrace, too). My friend Linda Donahue stayed at a different hotel, since she knew she wouldn’t be able to tolerate the smoke.

There’s a “fun area” on the second floor, featuring video games for the whole family. And I did see children there. But these arcade games look so similar to the gambling machines on the first floor (easily visible from the second), I wonder if this is just a way to entice a new generation of gamblers.

I’m grateful to the Reno fans for arranging everything at the Atlantis Casino, as well as a the Convention Center, but it was a trying experience.

On the positive side, I had breakfast on the way to the airport at a retro McDonald’s. Note the golden arches. I could see them from a good distance!

Worldcon IV -- Redheads, Paperbacks, Hugos

2011-08-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

(Saturday. Blog supplemental.)

My friends Julie Mandala and Linda Donahue are having their novel Four Redheads of the Apocalypse published by Baen.

Julie and Linda are friendly people who encourage aspiring writers. They’re always fun to see at the convention parties.

Later in the day I asked agent/writer Lucienne Diver her opinion about the future of mass-market paperback books. In a previous blog entry, I mentioned how a major publisher predicted these paperbacks will die out in five years, to be replaced by e-books. Yesterday, a major editor predicted they will die out in three to four years. Lucienne Diver has had e-books published herself, as detailed on her blog.

Ms. Diver was less pessimistic. She had the opinion that mass-market paperbacks will die out “eventually,” but not in the next few years. Just to be clear, all three of these people agree the larger paperbacks -- called “trade” paperbacks -- will survive. Ditto for the hardcovers. My question concerned the most common sort of paperback, less than eight inches tall.

Below is a picture of Ms. Diver and me, with mixed results.

She looks alert and intelligent

Me, not so much

Tonight we had the Hugo Awards ceremony. Fans compare these awards to the Oscars, and I was surprised at the similarities: A couple of well-dressed hosts bantered back and forth between awards, the big screens showed pictures of the nominees as they were named off, and the winners were visibly emotional.

I was surprised the Hugo for best movie went to Inception, beating out last year’s Harry Potter movie. For my contention that the characters in Inception were derived from the characters in the children’s novel Alice in Wonderland, see my previous blog entry on the subject. (Hint: The main female character uses a pawn as her totem.)

The Hugo for best short story went to Mary Robinette Kowal. Yes, she’s the same person I had an appointment with on Thursday (which I missed) and who put on the puppet show on Friday. She gave a heartfelt acceptance speech, in which she explained she told her parents and husband to not bother to come, since she didn’t think she would win.

Worldcon III -- Star Trek, Pirates, Puppets

2011-08-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

(Friday. Blog supplemental)

Lest you think I only saw steampunk types at the convention, here’s a picture of someone representing a different aspect of Worldcon:

tereshkova2001
A Star Trek fan. Can you tell?

On a different note, I saw Carrie Vaughn on a panel, both yesterday and today. Yesterday, she talked about the research she did for her young adult pirate novel Steel, which I just ordered through Amazon.

I asked how to keep from unloading too much research on the reader, which good writers know just bogs down the story. She said she does the research when she needs to know something for the passage she’s writing. She’ll put brackets down for needed information as she writes, then go back and fill in the brackets. I realized I do the same. If I don’t know what tree is needed for a scene in ancient Greece, I might write “he tended the [ ] tree.” When I do the research, I go back and fill in the brackets, which in this case was a chaste tree (it really exists). Thanks, Carrie, for the affirmation.

The big treat for the evening was the puppet show Whatnot, performed by Mary Robinette Kowal, Jodi Eichelberger, and Lance Woolen.

To call it a traditional puppet show doesn’t do it justice. The series of pieces they present range from the tragic to the comical. They also include audience interaction -- audience members choose the next prop for the performers to use. A standout piece featured two performers wearing tape recorders on their heads, alternately playing lines from science fiction or fantasy that supporters had submitted during the previous weeks. Whatnot was an unusual treat for us all.

Worldcon II -- Steampunk

2011-08-24T18:08:00.000-07:00

(Thursday evening, blog supplemental)

What is steampunk? Forget the “punk” part of the name. It is more properly called “Victorian science fiction” or “gaslight fantasy.” These fans have a fascination with Victorian times, and you can see them in period dress, but what’s with the goggles? The stories are alternate versions of Victorian times with advanced dirigibles or other flying machines, extravagant steam-powered mechanisms, and lots and lots of gears.

Some fans dress in elaborate detail.

Same girl, different outfits

The day’s steampunk events culminated with the Girl Genius Ball. Participants learned Victorian/Regency dances.

Worldcon I -- Arrival

2011-08-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

(Thursday. Blog supplemental)

Stark's War

Worldcon -- the world’s largest science fiction convention -- is in Reno, Nevada this year. It’s great so far, but I had my traveling issues:

Rubbing blood into my pants leg I bashed my knee on the door of the shuttle van while getting out at the airport. I kept rubbing it throughout the day, then found out later I scraped some skin off.

Wrong plane taxiing up to our terminal gate Propellers spinning and all! The women at the boarding counter looked surprised, then announced this plane had to be serviced before our flight (already late) could take off.

Missing my appointment with the puppeteer See my previous entry on author, speaker, and puppeteer Mary Robinette Kowal. I was going to read a novel excerpt (assuming I ever get published) in a private session, and she would give me tips on public reading. As to why I was late, see above.

A typical author reading an excerpt

from her manuscript at the convention

On the plus side, I had my picture taken with my favorite author, John Hemry.

He’s an experienced Navy man. His Fleet series, under the pen name of Jack Campbell, has made the New York Times bestseller list. Now he’s bringing out reissues of his Stark series, beginning with Stark’s War (see cover above). The setting may be the moon, but some issues don’t go away: A vastly experienced non-com -- Sergeant Stark -- has to deal with the uncaring and incompetent officers above him. When he’s ordered to send his soldiers into a pointless, suicidal battle, what can Stark do?

Hemry writes passionately about the ethical conundrums of loyal, patriotic soldiers who are given terrible moral dilemmas. He also sprinkles his story with hilarious moments when Stark and others have to say “Yessir” to panicky junior officers and those small-minded senior officers who micromanage their every move -- even when they’re charging into battle. Add to this his realistic descriptions of combat in the low-gravity, airless conditions of the moon, and you’ll see why Stark’s War has been issued again.

Star Trek Blogfest

2011-08-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

At the risk of appearing geekish, I’m participating in the Star Trek blogfest that Ellie Garrett is hosting. She dresses like this all day -- just ask her.

Go to Ellie’s blog

Instead of being self-indulgent, I can use this as an exercise in synopsis writing. What follows are synopses of my favorite episodes of the four main series:

The old Star Trek: “A Journey to Babel” Spock’s parents arrive at the eve of either an important diplomatic breakthrough or an interstellar war. As diplomats argue and an unknown ship stalks the Enterprise, Spock’s father ends up needing a massive blood transfusion from his son. But Spock cannot do that and fulfill his duties while the ship is in danger. Torn between duty to the ship and duty to family, and between his stern father and his caring mother, Spock suffers in an anguish he cannot show. Leonard Nimoy once said that Spock was the most human of the characters, because of the struggles he went through.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: “Legacy” The android Data, who professes to have no emotions, spent much time with his deceased shipmate, Tasha Yar. When her outlaw sister Ishara is taken onto the Enterprise because she has knowledge that may resolve a hostage situation, she is greeted with skepticism. Data finds himself advocating ways to help integrate her with the crew and offers personal support. But is Data really prepared for the emotional implications of trusting such a person? Data is not a dour character like Spock; he has more of a childlike approach to serious emotional situations.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: “The Wire” Garak is the only Cardassian on the Deep Space Nine space station, and the human Doctor Bashir is the closest thing he has to a friend. Garak collapses and lies close to death from an implant in his brain from the Obsidian Order—Cardassian intelligence. In terrible pain, he shouts contradictory stories to Bashir—he was kicked out of the Order for killing civilians, he was kicked out for sparing some civilian children, he tried to betray his best agent friend but was betrayed first. Bashir complains that none of the stories were true, but Garak says they were all true, “especially the lies.”

Star Trek: Voyager: “Someone to Watch Over Me” The Doctor—an artificial intelligence hologram—tries to give social lessons to Seven of Nine—a woman so cybernetically modified she is unfamiliar with sensitive emotions. No matter how much the suave Doctor advises Seven with the concepts of dating and other encounters, Seven’s brusque manner turns each one into a social disaster. Seven remarks they have much better interactions with each other. The Doctor is left with a quandary—since he is Seven’s teacher, is it ethical for him to develop feelings for her?

We were asked to come up with five favorites. I will come up with an odd category of favorite short segment: The first 20 minutes of the movie Star Trek: Generations. The Enterprise B has successfully launched, complete with reporters for a little publicity tour. But Captain Harriman is soon in over his head as refugee ships need rescuing. He swallows some humble pie and asks his special guest—the aging Captain Kirk—for advice. Kirk tells him to risk the Enterprise to save the refugees. What follows is fantastic Star Trek compressed into a short segment: Energy beams in space, the ship getting rocked, and Kirk doing it once again and saving the ship. The young Ensign Demora Sulu is a joy to watch.

By the way, my published short story is in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds V. If you use this link to Amazon.com, you can use their Look Inside feature to read part of my story. It starts on page 33.

Convention Proposal

2011-08-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

I’m going to be in Worldcon in Reno this Thursday through Saturday. If you recognize me, please come up and say hello. I hope to have good pictures and stories to share.

In the meanwhile, watch this fun proposal that seems to be taking place at a science fiction convention. You’ll see at the end why I think it’s a convention.

Using the Thighs

2011-08-15T18:07:00.001-07:00

Below is an excerpt from my vampire parody. Dee is on the ground, still weak from a vampire attack. The vampire’s arms are tied, but it’s still dangerous. A strange female professor named Teutonicus is more interested in the pit the vampire came from than in helping Dee.

“I think you have this under control.” With that, Teutonicus got up and left.

“HEY!” The vampire had reached Dee’s feet, some of her own blood dribbling off its lips. She got up on her elbows, but the shock of the attack and the loss of blood left her too weak to stand. “You don’t just leave with this thing coming.”

Teutonicus walked towards the vampire pit, feet moving gingerly among the tufts of grass. She looked side to side, cautious.

Dee kicked off from the ground. She wrapped her legs around the vampire’s neck.

“Good.” Teutonicus glanced back. “Now lock your ankles for a real death grip.”

“I could use a little help.” Dee’s reply was more of a snarl, but she complied. She crossed her ankles and felt the laces on the tops of her running shoes rub together, helping her lock her feet. “Whoa, now I’ve got a vampire trying to bite my thighs.”

The dark-haired professor addressed Dee in her lecturing tone. “As it struggles, shift it around to trap the back of the neck in the crook of your knee so you can press the kneecap of your other leg against its throat, or vice-versa.”

With something difficult to concentrate on, Dee didn’t have time to wallow in guilt. “Sounds like you’ve done this before.”

Teutonicus approached the edge of the pit, shining her red flashlight in. “Let’s just say I find Jon Voight movies instructive.”

The vampire continued to struggle, rubbing her back on the ground. She felt her shirt come up and blades of grass getting trapped in the back of her pants.

We’ll leave Dee for now. To understand what the professor was talking about, watch this instructive video featuring Jon Voight (for educational purposes only).

Harry Brown

2011-08-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

You’ve seen the news about the riots and fires in London this past week. Do not listen to the talking heads who say this is the poor against the rich. That is an insult against all the poor people there who do not riot or loot. And forget about saying this is a rising up of the working class. These hooligans do not work.

To understand these gang members better, rent the movie Harry Brown. The movie’s namesake is an elderly pensioner played by Michael Caine. He lives in a neighborhood where the residents stay inside as much as possible, peering out their curtains at the violence perpetrated by gang members. These hooligans deal drugs and literally push people around in broad daylight, and terrorize the night. As Harry tells a female detective while they are both hiding from an attack, these thugs kill for entertainment.

When Harry Brown is forced into a kill or be killed situation, we find out he is not so frail. After all, he’s a former Royal Marine. And when a good friend is killed, he is pushed too far. Harry becomes the unlikeliest of vigilantes. But will he be a match for the worst of the gang members, and will this new detective figure out what he is doing?

Harry Brown may be Michael Caine’s greatest movie, and that’s saying a lot. He does not play a tough vigilante. Caine was in his 70s when he made the movie, and he plays it as a man in his 70s. We see the horror and grief in his face when confronted with the brutality around him. This is a man who wants to live the quiet life, and we see how only the most extreme circumstances force him out of it.

In the DVD comments, Michael Caine said he was surprised at how well-received the movie was among women. His wife doesn’t like watching violence, so at the premiere he told her to just excuse herself for the restroom when she couldn’t take it, and he would join her. She stayed for the whole movie. Yes, there is blood at times. But this is no Charles Bronson bloodbath. We sympathize with Harry Brown and the plight of his whole community.

Caine’s DVD comments also give some good tips on acting, and also some out-and-out funny stories. But keep in mind these vandals who bully and rob and start fires are doing it for sport. Our sympathies are to be with the victims of their mayhem, and especially those few who try to fight back.

Kayleigh Herbertson, who lives in Plymouth, has a refreshing perspective on the riots on her Articulate and Intricate blog.

Bulwer-Lytton

2011-08-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest inflicts itself on us in the name of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the man who penned that immortal line, “It was a dark and stormy night.” The challenge is to write the worst possible opening sentence for a novel. Those of you who have an excellent chance of winning (and you know who you are) may enter at

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

This year’s winner in the Purple Prose category is Mike Pedersen of North Berwick, ME:

As his small boat scudded before a brisk breeze under a sapphire sky dappled with cerulean clouds with indigo bases, through cobalt seas that deepened to navy nearer the boat and faded to azure at the horizon, Ian was at a loss as to why he felt blue.

Among the Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions is Betty Jean Murray of Richland, TX:

Maggie said they were birthmarks and they very well could be, but the three very small black moles in a horizontal line just above her right eyebrow looked like an ellipsis to some, but to others who did not know what an ellipsis was, they looked like three very small black moles in a horizontal line just above Maggie's right eyebrow.

All this brings me back to my glory days in 2008, when yours truly was named the runner-up in the science fiction category:

Lightning flashed from the blue-black sky of this alien world and shattered the engines of the spaceship, destroying Reninger's last chance of escaping and reminding him of the time his sister returned from New York with the tips of her hair dyed blue, except for the part about the lightning and the spaceship.

You’re welcome.

Daniel Radcliffe Sings the Periodic Table

2011-08-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

I had no idea Daniel Radcliffe was this intelligent. In the video below, he sings the names of every single element in the periodic table!

But what does he do with the rest of his brain cells?

Two Worlds Meet

2011-08-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from Day 10K, my science fiction manuscript. Nakajima and Mannheim have been forced down after a missile hit their landing craft. Nakajima is not sure if the colonists approaching them are part of the group that shot them down. Their captain, from their ship in orbit, is addressing them over video.

The captain faced them on the screen. “The psych says their body language indicates no deception -- just varying amounts of fear and nervousness. Their hand gestures mean they come in peace. You are authorized to make contact with these Vallannans at your discretion. If you do so, have Mannheim cover you, in case of snipers on the hills behind them. Put your headsets on.”

Nakajima complied, knowing his every word and every step would be monitored. Mannheim had also heard, and he clambered down with goggles on his head, flipped up, so his eyes could be seen. He had a sidearm at his side, which could be slaved to whatever the goggles focused on, for accurate targeting. Another one was in his hand, and he made the gesture of hefting it.

Nakajima shook his head. Then the captain’s voice sounded in his earpiece. “Ensign, take the sidearm.”

He placed the holster on his left side.

The voice sounded again. “Remember their culture. Under-wimples on women denote modesty.”

Another look at the monitor showed the Vallannans with their arms at their sides, slightly bent at the elbows with palms open, facing the coracle. Except for the girl in the white under-wimple, who still held the bowl. He slid open the inner hatch door, then entered the narrow space that served as an airlock. Mannheim braced himself against one side, ready to fire. Before he flipped his goggles down, his eyes showed steady, with no undue excitement.

Nakajima gripped the mechanism for the outer hatch door.

Shushan concentrated on the bowl in her hands. She remembered Elder John’s lessons, that courage was not so much a matter of bravery; it was a lack of fear. Fear was a result of concentrating on oneself, on one’s own safety. She had to concentrate on the task before her: To keep an open and friendly look on her face, to make no move that seemed aggressive or suspicious, to offer the bowl of chuppa. If she believed the task was important enough, she would not have time to think about herself, would know no fear. She walked forward slowly, deliberately. She only wished she could check her under-wimple again.

The ship was opening.

Gasps came from the families behind her. It was mysterious, the way it opened up like that. Shushan did feel fear at that moment. And then the stranger came out.

Cowboys & Aliens

2011-08-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

Cowboys & Aliens attempts to take us back to the days when Westerns were epic movies. Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) is a gunslinger with a price on his head, but he wakes up with no memory of his past and a strange device attached to his wrist. Ella (Olivia Wilde) is the mysterious woman with a gun on her hip who hints she knows what happened to him. Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) is the cattleman who acts like he owns the town and has no compunction about leading a gang of toughs to spring his troublemaking son from jail. These three collide when flying objects devastate the town and make off with a number of the townsfolk.

We’re in the know that these are aliens, but the old West characters have to grasp their way to figuring out how to get their people back from these “demons.” What helps is the device on Jake’s wrist is a piece of technology that gives them a fighting chance. Along with Ella’s secret knowledge and Doharhyde’s unflagging determination, they track down the aliens on horseback, guns ready to take on them and their technology.

Cowboys & Aliens may not be a great movie, but it certainly is worth watching. I enjoyed Daniel Craig’s gunslinging and Harrison Ford’s transition from mad arrogance to world-weariness. We’re treated to actors actually riding on horseback, Clancy Brown (the sergeant in Starship Troopers) as the crusty preacher, and Apache Indians on the warpath. A weak point is that Dolarhyde’s son isn’t worth rescuing. And contrary to rumor, Olivia Wilde does not appear naked -- just the typical view of her bare upper back. But it’s a successful melding of the Western with science fiction.

P.S. When 43% of the critics on Rotten Tomatoes likes a movie, but 65% of the audience likes it, you might wonder what’s going on. As far as I can tell, some reviewers flat out don’t like Westerns. They seem to be disappointed that the movie did not lampoon the genre. But the director Jon Favreau treated the genre with respect.

P.P.S Source Code is now out on rental. See my review on this excellent movie.

Borders Closing

2011-07-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

This Borders closed some months ago

What can I say? The Borders bookstores are closing. Earlier this year, people in the know said they were in a death spiral.

Barnes & Noble may get a temporary bump from this, but the book industry could be in the middle of fundamental restructuring.

Judging from my previous experience with the closing of a large Borders, you’ll have to wait a couple more weeks to get the really cheap deals.

What the gods demand

2011-07-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from my historical fantasy manuscript, Virgin Unknown. Iphi is telling a young girl what happened to her as a child. Remember what it takes to win the favor of the gods -- sacrifice.

  “Then the soldiers came.”
  The girl stirred beside her and looked up. “You were raided? By sea people?”
  “They were sent by my father. The soldiers took me to a city called Aulis. There, the fleet was assembled to rescue my Aunt Helen from Troy. But the winds wouldn’t let them leave. My father Agamemnon, head of the fleet, had ordered me brought there. That’s what I overhead the soldiers saying on the ship we sailed.
  “The soldiers weren’t cruel -- I was a king’s daughter. Looking back on it, they knew what would happen, but only the king’s hands could do it.
  “It was the most glorious sight my childish eyes had ever seen. The pathway ended at the altar, which was on a cliff overlooking the sea. The ships! A thousand ships, floating in the water. Their sails weren’t filled, but still, to see the greatest fleet in the history of our people! I can still see them today, when I close my eyes.”
  “This story isn’t going to end well, is it?”
  Iphi sighed again. Now she did close her eyes, but what she saw in her memory chilled her.
  “The soldiers set me on the stone pavement surrounding the altar, then walked quickly away, their duty over. My father stood there, alone. He was in his gleaming bronze armor. The light shone on his shoulders, as if twin suns rested there. I squealed with delight.
  “His face was odd. I couldn’t see his eyes. They were normally bright and alert, but it was like they were sunken within his eyelids. His cheeks were sallow. And the whole left side of his face twitched. Know these as the signs of madness.
  “He lifted me with my baby cloak onto the altar with his strong hands. He spoke gently, told me how he loved me. Then he tied my wrists to that hard surface. He kissed my forehead. His face twitched again.
  “Then he picked up an axe. He hefted it in his hands, getting ready to strike. That’s how I remember him: Insane, eyes hidden, axe in his hands. I was scared. My own father.”

When Trophy Wives Attack

2011-07-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

Rupert Murdoch's third wife Wendi is a former volleyball player. Keep that in mind as you watch what happens when someone tries to throw a pie in his face while he was testifying to a committee of Parliament. You mostly see Rupert's son looking helpless, then on the left of the screen you see Wendi slap the guy on the head! Good choice, Rupert!

Vicious Half-Truth #3: Show, Don't Tell

2011-07-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

The constant mantra out there among writers is “show, don't tell.” That is, don't just tell the reader that a spaceship feels cramped, show it in the narrative by the crew members ducking to avoid overhead power lines, stepping carefully to avoid stairway alcoves, and almost colliding with each other. Don’t tell us that a man is almost drowning on the coast of the Ionian Sea, show him hanging on to a jagged half-submerged rock, and then the pounding roar of the surf headed towards him. And above all, don’t tell us that a character is smart, brave, pious, seductive, etc., but show us by the character’s actions and how others respond. This makes the writer give vivid descriptions that the reader will find convincing.

Unfortunately, this is a vicious half-truth.

The advantage of books over TV or movies is we can describe what the characters think and feel. And the way to do this is to tell the reader. I've tried to show thoughts and feelings by action, which doesn't work. For instance, I tried to show the desperation of the man in the Ionian Sea by his getting weaker as the rough surf pounded him. And I thought I was showing how ingenious he was in his how he acted to save himself. The criticism I received from online critiques indicated I didn’t show his thoughts or feelings.

Tell the reader what the character is thinking, what the character is feeling. Hopefully, you can avoid trite phrases such as “He thought,” or “He felt.” There has to be good cause and effect, linked to the physical world. The character may observe a certain detail, which leads her to think she’s being used as bait, or more explicitly, Using me as . . . bait. Or the character’s feelings may be linked to a clenched stomach or tense shoulders, or suspicion that his eyelid is twitching.

Show the reader your character and surroundings by showing, not telling. But plunge your reader into your character’s thoughts and feelings by telling what they are.

Anna McKinnon

2011-07-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

In Memoriam

Anna McKinnon

1979-2011

The CSI Effect

2011-07-08T05:03:00.000-07:00

I have cleverly inked out the name of the defendant and shown only part of her face, so you cannot possibly guess whom I am referring to.

At a science fiction convention, I heard two CSI speakers describe their craft in great detail. The session was packed, and we were fascinated at the techniques that can bring murderers and other criminals to justice. But one part of it was disturbing: What they call the CSI effect.

Jurors nowadays have watched television dramas like the multiple CSI series, Bones, or other shows that dramatize the use of forensic evidence gathered at crime scenes. The problem is, juries often expect that same sort of evidence when they sit in a courtroom. As these experts said, there was a case where a criminal’s presence was proved by his fingerprints. A juror voted not guilty. She reasoned that since no DNA evidence was shown, the criminal’s presence was not really proved.

These CSI type of shows have barely possible scenarios, in which they find a strand of hair, and their analysis then shows the assailant was left-handed and used a monkey wrench to kill the victim while Colonel Mustard was standing ten feet to the right. By the end of the episode, they can show by animation, holographic imagery, or blurry imagination with lots of screaming exactly how the murder took place. And jurors expect that. They want to know the exact method of the murder, at exactly what angle the victim was struck, and the exact movements of the murderer before, during, and after the act.

These expectations pretty much belong to the realm of fantasy land.

In the case I referenced, pundits on the news have said the prosecution must know the method of death in order to convict the accused mother. Not true. The standard of proving the accused guilty beyond a reasonable doubt does not include knowing the method of death. Look it up. Taken to a ridiculous extreme, you could have a videotape of the mother throwing her little girl, wrapped in blanket but with duct tape on the face, into a swamp. If you do not know if the baby died before being thrown in, you would have to find the mother not guilty, by that reasoning.

Another silly argument is that there is no DNA on the duct tape that was on the baby’s face that could link it to the mother. Again, the term DNA is not included in the concept of the prosecution having to prove a charge beyond a reasonable doubt. Such evidence helps, but is not necessary. The baby and the duct tape had been in the swamp long enough (and had probably been in the trunk of a car for a long time before then), so that no DNA could be recovered. Other reasoning comes into play. The mother did not report the child as missing for about a month. Whenever a dead child is found with duct tape over his or her mouth, it is always a homicide. No one else could have a reasonable motive for putting duct tape on the child. You do not have to have a videotape of the mother throwing the child into the swamp or DNA evidence from her on the duct tape.

The particulars of that case are more detailed, of course. But the problem is that jurors expect a mountain of forensic evidence that shows exactly how the crime occurred and showing the accused’s DNA right there at the scene. Going back to the workshop, there was one case where in previous years the defendant would have been found guilty by a typical jury. But one juror expected the whole show as far as esoteric evidence. The juror said that since the prosecution did not present such evidence, they must have known the accused was not really guilty.

The standard is that an ordinary person using common sense must find the accused guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. The doubt must be reasonable, not just any possible scenario. Circumstantial evidence has the same weight in court as direct evidence. The incredible evidence that CSI teams can produce is a help, but not always necessary. Jurors are expecting court cases to look like TV shows. I have been on jury duty at least six times, possibly more. The real system of justice does not look like a TV show.

Why Zombies?

2011-07-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

Maybe we're in a dead zone

As promised in my previous post, here’s my entry on why zombies have become so popular. Obviously, the ‘70s had their zombie movies that appealed to a limited audience, along with their weak spinoffs and imitators. But for about the last ten years, zombie movies and novels became popular enough to attract mainstream attention, and their quality increased to match. We even have a major television series, The Walking Dead, with amazing production values, that show zombie hordes in control of cities and suburbs, chasing the beleaguered survivors. Why the interest in zombies?

Thoughtful observers have noticed this trend began after the 9/11 attack. Since that time, we have had the explosion of stories of unreasoning hordes attacking us in wave after wave. We cannot communicate with them. We cannot reason with them. Their motives are not easily understood, and their way of life is totally foreign to us. They only wish our death.

Some who like zombie stories would reject this, saying, “I would never characterize those who happen to attack us in this stage of history as resembling zombies.” Okay. But the observation is that the analogy to real fears in our contemporary world is not done on a conscious level. Neither the writers nor the readers or viewers realized these stories were metaphors. These stories were compelling to mainstream audiences at a subconscious level.

Am I saying that every movie or novel has a one-to-one correspondence with a fear of a past or present attack on our homeland? No. But that fear lies behind the growth in this industry. If you catch episode 2 of The Walking Dead and see Deputy Grimes ride into Atlanta and get swarmed by zombies, you’ll see a glimpse of the fear that Western civilization will fall to irrational hordes who wish to destroy us.

Dude, what's a metaphor?

[Permission granted to use either photo on this post, so long as it is labeled “Photo by Mark Murata”]

Seattle Zombie Walk

2011-07-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Nothing hurts a zombie

like a recession

On Saturday, I went to the Seattle 2011 Zombie Walk, which ended up breaking the world record for people dressed up like zombies. Some people spent a long time on painstaking make up, others just put a bit of fake blood on their faces. It was interesting to be in an alley and hear someone say, "Hey Al, do you have any spare blood?"

Their initial gathering place seemed more like a street fair than anything else. There were food booths and mobile food vans, along with the Sobe people giving out free bottles of their vitamin water, which I appreciated. Instead of art booths where sparkles and face paint would be applied to children, they had serious make up booths where people who didn't feel zombied-up enough could get anything from a little smear of fake blood to an elaborate ghoulish look.

For those of you who are curious, the zombies mostly didn't act in character, unless they were asked to pose for pictures. They chatted with friends, ate hot sliders, or relaxed in beer gardens. It didn't look like a family-friendly event, but some people did bring their children, with fake blood or not. Afterwards, the thousands of participants did their zombie walk, in which they were more likely to do their zombie poses for amused fellow pedestrians.

Why zombies? Well, this was in Fremont, a Seattle neighborhood that prides itself in its artsy flair and is more likely to celebrate the solstice than Christmas. Instead of doing a Disney walk or a pirate walk, their joie de vivre comes from acting out in a way that shocks middle America. But why zombies in general? Why have there been so many zombie movies and books over the past decade? For that, you'll have to read my next post.

I want your next post!

[Permission granted to use either photo on this post, so long as it is labeled “Photo by Mark Murata”]

eBooks vs. Paper Books

2011-07-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

Rachel Brooks has an interesting blog post on whether eBooks will replace paper books. She came to a similar conclusion as my June 7 post, but for different reasons. Her post was so interesting, I tore a page off and pasted it here.

Go to Rachel Brooks' blog

See what you think. Do you agree with her?

Woodland Park Zoo!

2011-06-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

If you’re ever in the Seattle area, I highly recommend you visit Woodland Park Zoo, which shows how fun a zoo can be.

The above peacock was just walking around free. I saw a crowd of people staring at something, so I rounded a corner and was astonished by it. Look at how gigantic the feathers were.

I hadn’t been to the zoo since I was a child, and I was pleasantly surprised to be impressed as an adult. The most popular scene for children was the penguin area, where they could go right up to a five foot tall glass wall and see the penguins swimming around. The elephants were nice, but the tapirs were more impressive, since they would come up right against their glass, so we could observe their odd-looking snouts.

The startling moment is shown below. I looked through a narrow window and saw something staring back at me.

Can you see the ocelot?

(You can click to enlarge)