Monday, May 16, 2011

Athena and Perseus Argue




Athena and Perseus have stumbled upon people in the desert sand that the Medusa and other Gorgons have turned to stone.





     “A family.”  Athena was disgusted.  “They killed a family.” 
     Perseus gestured at the other figures.  “Athena, all these are facing away from the Gorgons.” 
     “As if fleeing.”  She thought deeply.  “They do not turn to stone instantly.  This man was carrying the child as they fled.  The Gorgons do something to them to start the process of hardening, then the victims try to get away.” 
     “‘Start the process.’  You mean something different from just their ugliness?” 
      “No matter what, use the reflection in the shield to look at them.  I’m not sure what is happening.  My thoughts on this are incomplete.” 
     “My mother once told me of a man who was bitten by a snake, and he became stiff, as if made of wood --” 
     “Did you go deaf?”  Athena was angry about the dead family, angry about secrets held by her fellow immortals, and angry about her inability to control this young man.  “Do not ponder your way into doing something unsafe.  I didn’t pluck you off the island of Samos so you could think your way into trouble, instead of listening to wisdom!” 
     “You didn’t choose a man who was deaf, or unable to think.  I can do both!”  His cheeks tightened with anger.  “Why can’t I listen to your wisdom as you talk out loud, and we both begin to draw the same conclusion?” 
     “Because we’re approaching danger, that’s why!” 
     “Oh, is that why I brought this weapon?  I thought we were approaching some paved fountain in the desert with little children skipping around.”  

17 comments:

Amy said...

Very nice! :)

Raquel Byrnes said...

I like the back and forth tension in these two. I'll bet sparks fly later in the story.
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Crystal Collier said...

"You didn't choose a man who was deaf, or unable to think" --My favorite line.

Mark Murata said...

Thank you for your comments. Crystal, that line just flowed from their argument.

Charity Bradford said...

I love his spunk! That's not really the right word, but you know what I mean.

"Oh, is that why I brought this weapon?"

Great line.

Sari Webb said...

Great scene. I'm sad for the family and I can understand why they're arguing in this situation. Getting angry is easier than other emotions sometimes.

Gabrielle said...

Haha. That last bit made me laugh. Perseus strikes me as a spunky type of guy.

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

There is definitely some sass going on with Perseus. The relationship is going to be rocky, I can tell. Nice job.

Rachel Russell said...

I really enjoyed this excerpt. The last line was funny.

I'm also interested in the novel itself considering the characters you're using!

Ellie Garratt said...

Loved this piece, especially the ending. Like Rachel, I'm intrigued!

Power Of Tension Blogfest

stu said...

There's some nice tension between the two of them here.

Siv Maria said...

Use of some great dialogue here and interesting characters. Would love to read some more. Good job :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

I really like Perseus' sarcastic and antagonizing manner toward Athena. No fear there. LOL.

Intriguing premise.

Rachel Morgan said...

Haha, I like sarcasm :-) “little children skipping about” indeed...

Thanks for entering :-)

Crystal said...

Ha ha ha - love the sarcasm at the end, and the back-and-forth is great!

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

Love the back and forth between them. Intriguing piece. Definitely interested to read more!

stickynotestories said...

What a great scene ^_^ It certainly helps that Greek Mythology is a favorite of mine, but it's a great bit of dialogue and a great bit of tension. Thanks for sharing!

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